A Straight Guy's Guide to Being Gay

Chapter 19

Becky and his mom were going to visit his dad. That was their plan for Saturday. When Theo's mom had picked him up outside Madison's place, Becky was already in the car. They were both dressed nicely; Becky in cropped jeans and a tucked in yellow T-shirt, his mother in a light green summer dress. His mother had gone ballistic once Theo hopped in the back seat.

"Theo!" she had yelled, twisting her head around to glare at him. "I put my trust in you, trust that you would be back home by midnight, and you spend the night?"

Theo frowned. "I was drunk, mom. How could I have gotten home?"

Her eyes flared. She was fine with him drinking every so often, she even said that partying was okay because once you get old, you'll never get those partying years again. But she always asked that he let her know if he would be drinking, so she could pick him up and dodge the risk of cops.

"Why didn't you call me? I thought you were going out to ear with the guys!" She was only going to get angrier, Theo knew.

"Well we decided to go to a party, too. Mike's girlfriend was hosting it." As if that would make it better.

She tsked. "I don't care, Theo, if it was Justin's party or some other fucking kid. You still got drunk at a stranger's house and didn't care to tell your own mother."

"She's not a stranger," he murmured.

"I don't give a fuck, Theo!" She closed her eyes and turned to face forward again. Becky was sitting silently, shooting Theo warning looks that said Don't push it.

He wouldn't. He would wait for his mom to calm down, and then he would be patient and apologize and explain anything she wanted to know. He heard his mom taking deep breaths. He wanted to hug her, kiss her, tell her he was sorry for causing distress when she was in pain. But... he was in pain, too.

He began quietly, "I'm sorry, mom. I wasn't thinking. I know that it was wrong, but I needed a distraction. Drinking made it go away."

He didn't need to reveal what It meant. He saw her nod her head, and then she wiped her hand on her face. She laughed darkly.

"I suppose you don't want to go see him today?"

Theo bit his lip. "Not particularly." Becky looked sadly at him. Perhaps she hoped she wouldn't have to be the only one to comfort their mother. But to be honest? Theo didn't think he could do it anymore.

"Ok," she said surely. "I will bring you home and then we'll go to the hospital." She looked into the mirror at Theo. "I'm sorry, too."

Theo nodded and stared out the window. They had just begun driving when his mother laughed a jolly laugh. "Theo? Is that puke on your jeans?"

He curled his lip in disgust. "Yes, mother, it is. I was trying not to think about it."

Becky glanced from his puke-stained thigh to his face where she giggled at him. He stuck his tongue out at her. It felt good to do normal things. To laugh and smile without forcing it. He was glad that there was some joy, that there would always be some joy. They needed it.

His heart warmed even more when his mother laughed again, the sound so familiar, yet so beautiful to his ears.

—

Theo watched his mom drive away, her and Becky already jamming out to some tunes. He hoped that Becky could be strong enough for them both. He really, really hoped so. The first thing he did once he got up to his room was plug his phone in. The second was to peel off his sticky jeans and boxers, and then his shirt. He immediately put them in the washing machine and turned it on.