I cannot write about grief without acknowledging it is personal.
every part of it is based on circumstance,
who you are, who they were, what happened, your relationship- everything.
however, this is how it feels to me.
it feels like no longer having a safe place, because your safe place was in his arms.
it feels like growing up wondering if you're doing it right, if he would be proud.
it feels like a deep unending ache in your bones when you remember he's no longing waiting at home.
that he will not ever see the person you grow to be.
it feels like you're a little kid all over again and they're ten minutes late so you're crying because they must have gotten murdered or into a car crash.
it feels like begging her to stop smoking because you don't want to be an orphan.
you feel small and fragile and afraid, and the one person you trusted to protect you is never coming home.
you cry sometimes for no reason until you realize that he is the reason-
you take shit from people and never express your needs because you're afraid they'll leave you too.
it's not the same but it hurts like it.
grief is forgetting your father's voice.
grief is sobbing alone in your room wondering if he would ever love you the way you've come to realize you are.
it's like you died with him, or at least you wish you did.
YOU ARE READING
poems for the dead
Poetrywritings I suppose- mostly a vent, but only ghosts even listen so idk- also sry fer bein so angsty im just constantly sad for invalid reasons general trigger warning for the whole thing bc I forget in some chapters,, most of these are sad and may or...
