𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 || 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 45

Monday 22nd March, 1977

The weekend passed in a blur. I was either wallowing or studying. Nothing else. Lily and Remus didn't seem to know what to do; they often just fluttered around me, sharing worried stares with one another.

It's a bit funny to see how much heartbreak affects someone, because they're still alive, and yet you've lost them. They still live and breathe, just not for you anymore, not in sync with you anymore, and they won't ever again.

Its not so much funny as it is...well, heartbreaking, really.

I didn't want to go to school on Monday; I just wanted to drown in my sorrows alone in my bed forever. Lily had other plans though, and practically dragged me out of my bed, much to my dismay. She seemed determined to get me back to a somewhat normal schedule and have school distract me from my problems. Unfortunately school brought my problems to me when I had Charms first thing, meaning I had to suffer a whole class sitting next to Regulus after we broke up.

It was one of the worst things in the world. There was this horrible, stifling silence between us that seemed to suffocate me. Not to mention the fact that Regulus was so cold towards me. He looked like he did the first day of school on the train all those months ago, when we were nothing more than enemies. I hated that we were enemies again.

The rest of the day went by similarly. Whatever glance I got of Regulus was one of him closed off, and I kept feeling as if we were back in time. Things only got worse when I saw Selena around him, and I had to fight the urge to scream at her 'he's mine!' because he wasn't anymore.

. . .

Saturday 27th March, 1977

It was a Hogsmeade trip and Dorcas had made me go with her. She said it was supposed to be good for me and while I did go, trying to have a good time, I was weighed down by Regulus the whole time.

He'd asked the Charms teacher to swap seats. I no longer sat next to him anymore, and even though it was a relief to escape the tense silences of Charms, I felt myself losing him more and more with each passing second, yet I couldn't find it in myself to regret my decision, because I'd rather this than having to endure the horrible jealousy and insecurities and misery I felt before.

Our spot had also disappeared. I would go to the seventh floor and try to go to the room, but the door would never appear. No matter what I did, said, or thought, I couldn't get in, making me feel even more hopeless.

"Hey, cheer up," Dorcas said, noticing me low mood. "How about we go to Honeydukes first? That always cheers me up."

I nodded my head, trying for a smile. "That sounds like something Marlene would say."

Dorcas's face went pink. "Marlene? As in Marlene McKinnon?"

I stared at her suspiciously. "Yeah...?"

"Oh, that's cool," Dorcas said, nodding her head a bit too enthusiastically. "I've seen her around before, never met her but... yeah, she seems cool."

"Oh Merlin!" I exclaimed. "You like Marlene!"

Dorcas's eyes went wide and her head whipped back and forth, checking if anyone heard me. "Quiet down will you? I don't want all of Hogsmeade to know, thank you very much."

I grinned, my first proper grin since Regulus and I broke up. It felt nice, and I focused on Dorcas and her crush on Marlene instead of the more depressing parts of my life. We entered Hogsmeade and bumped into Lily, who looked delighted to see me out and about. I introduced her to Dorcas, who invited her along for the day and Lily happily agreed.

We spent quite some time in the lolly shop, collecting bags upon bags of sweets for us to snack on later. I also got some more chocolate for Remus, like I did every time I went to Honeydukes, on the off chance that he forgot to resupply.

We had just exited the store, deciding to head to the three broomsticks, when Lily bumped into Severus Snape. A dreary silence descended on the two of them, Severus looking pleadingly at Lily while Lily looked determinedly anywhere but Severus.

"Lily..." Severus started.

"Oh, you're calling me Lily now?" Lily asked harshly. "What happened to Mudblood?"

Severus flinched at Lily's cruel words, even though he deserved them. His eyes darted to the onlookers in the situation, the onlookers being Dorcas and I. Severus narrowed his eyes when he spotted me, his hate for my brother including me too just because I was related to him. Not that I minded though; I didn't like Severus much myself.

"Severus! There you are!" one of Snape's friends called, walking with a group of Slytherins towards us.

I realised, with a heavy heart, that Regulus was included in the group, and looked at my feet immediately, all the while the good mood I had managed to grasp slipped away through my fingers.

"What's going on here?" the same friend, Yaxley, asked.

"Nothing," Lily said, attempting to move past him.

Yaxley sneered. "I wasn't talking to you, Mudblood."

"Don't you dare call her that," James said, appearing out of nowhere, the rest of the marauders following suit.

There was a standoff between the group of Slytherins and Gryffindors – with the honorary member of Hufflepuff Dorcas Meadowes – and I slipped my hand into my pocket, reassured by the feeling of my wand curled tightly in my hand.

I stared determinedly at anywhere but Regulus, which just so happened to be Selena, who was standing next to Regulus. I closed my eyes briefly, feeling a wave of grief crash over me, but I still refused to look at Regulus in the eye. I was afraid at what I'd find, so I'd figured it would be better to just not look at all.

Just before things escalated too quickly, a professor from Hogwarts walked by and noticed the standoff, quickly coming to defuse the situation, ushering the students away from each other. I split off with the marauders as Dorcas and Lily both decided to go back to the castle, hoping some time with my brother would lift my mood.

It seemed to be a hopeless case though, as the marauders soon discovered when they tried to cheer me up, because my mind was firmly fixed upon Regulus. And Selena. They had been standing so close to one another, and I couldn't help but wonder if that meant they were together for real, now that I was out of the way.

The thought just brought me more pain, like everything seemed to these days.

A/N:

hello my darlings. late update, i know.

i've been really busy rn, and while i usually always try to update on friday, this week i just wasn't able to, nor was i able to in the days following friday. this is the first chance i've had to update, and i aplogise for not updating sooner.

i will usually always update on friday, so you can still expect an update this friday.

have a good day <3