𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 || 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 43

Thursday 18th March, 1977

Regulus and I didn't talk about the fight in potions, or the holding hands Selena and him did in the hallways, or the significantly less amount of time we'd spent together.

We didn't talk much about anything lately, because we were never around each other long enough to talk.

I tried to understand it, tried to think, it's only for the show or it doesn't mean anything or its only to fool his parents, and yet as Regulus got more and more paranoid about when and where he could see me I started feeling more and more like a mistress, a dirty secret kept hidden away because it doesn't go with Regulus's destined life.

To make matters worse, there were changes made to the Prefect pairs because there had been too many students upset with their partners, so me and Regulus had been split up. I now had patrols on Thursday and was partnered with a Hufflepuff girl called Dorcas Meadowes, who was nice, but she wasn't Regulus.

I'd been an even bigger mess because it was Remus's first full moon since after I'd found out about him a few days ago, so obviously I'd been up all night worrying about it, and then the next day he had the audacity to go to class even though it was obvious he was in pain.

Stupid bastard.

Regulus's quidditch game had happened last weekend. I'd gone, as I said I would, and he'd played beautifully. I wasn't much on quidditch, but I could watch Regulus play it all day. The game was against Hufflepuff and Slytherin ended up winning when Regulus caught the snitch. I'd gotton so excited I'd ran out of the stands, intending to congratulate him, when Selena had beat me to it, running up to Regulus and enveloping him in a hug. I'd stopped running and just stood there, watching as Selena hugged him the way I was supposed. Watching as she congratulated him like I was supposed to.

I hadn't stayed around to congratulate him.

I was sitting outside on the steps, eating my lunch alone on Thursday, 5 days after his quidditch game. I couldn't bear sitting in the Great Hall for one more second, watching Selena whisper sweet nothings into Regulus's ear while he smiled and pretended to enjoy it. Or maybe he did enjoy it. I wouldn't know; we barely even talked anymore.

I was brought out of my thoughts when someone sat next to me. Glancing at them I recognised Barty. He didn't say anything, just sat there with me and ate his lunch. He'd been kinder to me lately, because of this whole mess, and he felt like one of the few people I had in my court while going through this.

"You okay?" he asked, staring at his shoes.

I let out a humourless laugh. "No."

"Do you... want to talk about it?" he seemed reluctant to ask, and I was about to say no when I caught sight of him staring at me. He had a sincere expression on his face, one I'd only ever seen him use on Evan.

"Um, okay I guess," I said instead. "I don't know where to start. That my boyfriend is engaged to someone else? That lately it feels like he's just forgotten my existence? Or that its starting to feel like what you said earlier is true, that I'm nothing more than a mistress and she's the wife, and that's what's actually going to happen. If Regulus doesn't find this magical way out of this marriage like he's been saying he will, he's going to marry her and then I'll actually become his mistress, if I even stay after that."

"Would you stay after that?" Barty asked quietly.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "It wouldn't be fair to me. I really like him, but if he gets married, we'd be having an affair, and that's... well, that's different then what we're doing now, because right now Selena and him aren't technically together, only for show. If they get married though, that's for real, and I don't want to participate in him cheating on his wife, even if he doesn't love her."