New Love

Chapter 23: Jay

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked away from Emily and subsequently Lucy. I had a plethora of emotions all rolling around in my head and heart. I felt sick to my stomach and wasn't sure where I was heading. I just let my feet carry me. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, but I ignored it. I wasn't in a place to talk to anyone right now.

I walked into the park and stood on the sidewalk watching the kids running through the fountain. Those kids had no idea what life was going to throw them in a couple years. They had no idea the heartache they were going to one day face. I kept walking, my head down, until I came to a bench on the other side of the fountain. This one was secluded and quieter than the other side.

I rubbed the back of my neck and swallowed. I had royally fucked this up. I didn't blame Emily if she never talked to me again. And I was probably going to have to fake my own death to get Lucy off my tail. I flexed my hand. It was stinging and starting to swell. I closed my eyes and felt Emily's soft hands holding it, washing away the blood.

"Does it hurt?" Her sweet voice floated through my head.

"A little." I admitted. I kept my eyes closed, I wanted to keep her here with me. I knew if I opened my eyes she would be gone. I felt her soft lips kiss my knuckles, then stroke across her face. I hunched over and choked on a sob. This time I felt her hand on my back, rubbing up and down. When her head leaned on my shoulder, I heard her silent cries. That was when I opened my eyes.

"Emmy." I gathered her into my arms and held her. She buried her head in my shoulder and sobbed. "Baby, please don't cry." My chest heaved.

"We can't keep doing this."

"I know." I whispered. I took her face into my hands and kissed her. I tasted the salt from her tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She pulled away from me. "I should go."

I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "Please don't."

She shook her head. "Jay, I have too."

"I swear, Emmy, you are the only thing keeping me sane right now. Please don't walk away from me."

Her breath hitched, but she sat back down beside me.

"This is such a bad idea."

I held her hand in mine and stroked her knuckles. "Is that you talking or Mia?"

"Can't it be both?"

"I don't want to be your bad idea or a bad decision. I just want to be with you."

"But we can't be. Before I left Lucy was back in the living room. I told her I was sorry you guys had broken up and she laughed and said it was all just a little game. That you two were going strong."

I groaned and threw my head back.

"Let's just run away together."

She chortled and rested her head on my shoulder. "Okay, where are we going?"

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Hell I don't care. You said you wanted to go to Ireland. So let's go."

"Sure." She nudged me. "Let's go."

"I'm serious." And I was. I would go anywhere as long as it meant I got to be with her.

"I don't think running away will solve our problems."

I blew out a breath. "Yeah, you're probably right." We sat in silence for a while watching the fountain dance. A couple kids ran around near us before running back into the water with squeals of delight.

"We could tell everyone we are seeing each other."

Her head whipped towards me, her eyes wide. "Are you insane?"

"I wouldn't let her hurt you." I tried to reassure her.

She shook her head. "In case you forgot, she knows where I sleep."

"I'll just sleep with you." I smirked.

"Jay." She rolled her eyes. "That's not the solution to this."

"Then what is?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. To stop seeing each other. Stop spending time together, texting each other. Forget each other."

"Is that really what you want?" I felt a sharp pain in my chest at her words.

She swallowed and dropped her head. "No. It's not. You know it's not." When she looked up at me, her cheeks were red and more tears were threatening to spill. "But it's the only thing left for us to do."

I placed my hand on her cheek and she closed her eyes leaning into it. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.

"That's not an option." I meant it. I wasn't sure how this was going to work, but I wasn't willing to let her walk out of my life. "Let me take you out. On a real date."

She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her shoes, shaking her head.

"Okay, fine. Not a date." I tried a different approach. "Let me take my friend out to a movie."

She raised her eyebrow at me. "So I'm just your friend now?"

"Hey, I'll take whatever I can get."

"What if someone sees us and tells Lucy."

"Can't two friends enjoy a movie together." I twirled a piece of her hair around my finger.

"So, you want to take me to a dark movie theater and do what exactly?"

I trailed my finger along her collarbone to her cleavage. My eyes locked on hers the whole time. Her chest heaved and I smiled. I sat back on the bench stretching my arms out.

"Watch a movie. What did you think?" I winked at her and she swatted my arm. She was smiling again. At least I put a smile on her face today too, even if the tears she had shed today were also my fault. Her hand landed on my thigh, but I resisted the urge to react. The ball was in her court.

"So we go to the movies, as just friends and watch the movie and that's it?"

"That's it."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You're not going to touch me or make a move on me?" I thought I heard a little disappointment in her voice. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

"Sweetheart, you are the one touching me right now."

She yanked her hand away as if I had scalded her. I chuckled then grabbed it, putting it back in my lap. Her eyes widened. I might be able to control the urges, but my dick couldn't.

She bit her lip and looked around. But we were alone. I squeezed her hand under mine.

"Let me take you to the movies."

"Okay." she whispered.