New Love

Chapter 42: Jay

"Lucy, what are you doing?" I scowled up at her. She stood on the rail, looking down at the courtyard. We were on the third floor, so I knew if she actually jumped it wouldn't end well for her. I felt a knot tightening in my chest.

"I'm done living." Tears rolled down her cheeks.

I scrubbed my hand over my face. "Lucy, please come down."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm done. I love you but you are in love with someone else."

She was right. I was. I hadn't expected to tell Emily how I felt tonight, but no matter what ended up happening, I'm glad I did.

Emily had opened up my heart in a way it had never been opened before. I was so attuned to her, I was aware of her as soon as she walked outside. Even though I hadn't turned my eyes away from Lucy.

"You're right Lucy. I am in love with her. And I know you think you are in love with me, but this between us has never been about love."

"You can't say that. I know how I feel and I can't live in a world where you don't love me."

"Lucy, I've never been in love with you."

She sobbed and wobbled on the railing. My heart sank as I reached out, prepared to grab her. She steadied herself.

"I know you loved me, Jay. You loved me just fine until Miss Cute and Perky came to town."

I didn't think I had ever given her the impression that I loved her. I cared about her, but not the way she wanted me too.

"I am your friend, Lucy. That's all I've ever been and all I ever will be." Sleeping with Lucy was my biggest regret. I should have just welcomed her back into my life as my best friend's sister like she always had been. I guess some part of me was lonely for home and she had reminded me of what I had left behind.

"Now, can you please come down, so we can go inside." I offered her my hand, hoping she would take it so this could end.

"Why should I? No one cares what happens to me."

"That's not true. I care. Casey and Mia care. Your theater friends and your brother care."

She scoffed.

"My brother dumped me here because he was tired of me. And now that's what you are doing too."

I sighed. I hated that she was right about Troy. Sure, he loved her because she was his sister, but he had clearly wiped his hands of her. I wasn't going to do that. I couldn't. I wanted her to be okay being my friend, and eventually being Emily's friend.

"I'm not dumping you."

She sucked in a breath and looked down at me for the first time, just as I realized what I had implicated.

"You're... You're not?"

I was desperate. I wanted this to be over so I could go back to Emily.

"No. Now come down."

She hesitated for a moment, but then took my offered hand. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started leading her back inside.

As I passed Casey, Mia, and Ashley, I looked around desperately for Emily. I knew she had been out here, but now she was nowhere in sight. It wasn't until I was back inside and leading Lucy towards her bedroom that I spotted her. Her eyes met mine from behind the bar in the kitchen. She tossed back a shot, then refilled it with the half empty bottle of Vodka. My heart ached. I wanted nothing more than to go to her. To pull her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her.

Instead, I continued down the hall, half holding up Lucy. I deposited Lucy in her bed, hoping to make a quick escape. But she clung to me.

"Please stay with me."

"Just go to sleep, Lucy." I ran my hand over my face. I wanted this to be over. I had promised Emily last weekend that this wasn't going to happen again. But here I was.

"I can't unless I know you are staying."

I sighed and pulled out the desk chair. "I'm here. Go to sleep."

She tossed and turned for over an hour. I was anxious and restless by the time she finally fell asleep. I slowly made my way out of her room and down the hall.

Things had quietened down. Only a couple people remained and no one stopped me as I made my way to Emily's room. I wouldn't have blamed her if the door was locked. But it wasn't so I slipped inside, closing and locking the door behind me.