New Love

Chapter 43: Emily

By the time I made it back to my room, I was good and drunk. The room was spinning as I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off my boots. I unhooked my bra and tossed it on the floor. I stood on wobbly legs and pulled the t-shirt I had taken from Jay over my head. I pulled it up to my nose and smelled it. Even though I had washed it, it still smelled like him. I bit back a sob as I managed to make my way to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth.

This wasn't how I had wanted this night to end. He was supposed to be with me in my bed. I was supposed to fall asleep in his arms and wake up next to him. Instead he was in Lucy's room. I don't know what he had to say to her, or promise her, to get her down from that railing, but I'm sure it wasn't anything I would like.

I stumbled back to bed and pulled the cover up over me, finding his blue tie that I loved so much. I clutched it in my hand and reached for the necklace he had placed around my neck. For a moment he was mine. And now that moment has shattered. I started to cry, my sobs shaking my body. My heart was breaking and I wasn't sure if it would ever be the same.

I must have dozed off, because when I woke, he was here. His arm was wrapped securely around my waist. I twined my fingers with his, squeezing my eyes shut. He kissed my shoulder and I turned over to face him.

Moonlight filtered in, just enough for me to make out his handsome face. His eyes were red rimmed and his chest heaved.

"I'm sorry."

I brushed my hand across his face and through his hair. He captured my hand and kissed my palm. I didn't understand how he could be the one to shatter my heart, but also be the one to mend it. I wanted to be angry with him, but I realized I couldn't be. I wanted him to know I was here for him, no matter what. He had opened up to me and I didn't want him to shut back down.

"It's okay." I whispered, even though it wasn't.

"I thought for a little while that everything was going to be okay. That it was all going to go over smoothly."

"We should have known better." I said.

"I ruined your birthday."

I shook my head. "No you didn't."

He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him. We lay in silence for some time. I could feel his heart beating against my hand.

"This doesn't change anything." He broke the silence. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that if we went to sleep right now, when we woke up in the morning we could be a normal couple.

"Hey," he placed his finger under my chin and drew my face up. "None of this changes how I feel about you, Emmy."

Tears sprang to my eyes, because I wanted it to be true. I loved him more than anything and I didn't want it to be over.

"Do you think she would have jumped?" I asked.

He sighed. "I honestly don't know. But she knows how to get my attention."

"That she does." I sighed. "And we both know she is going to keep doing it. She is going to do anything she can to pull you away from me."

He brushed his lips against mine, and wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Nothing she does is going to keep me away from you. I love you."

"I lo..."

I was cut off by my screams coming from the living room.

"Shit, what the fuck now?" He jumped up and flung open the door. I pulled on a pair of leggings and followed him.

"Oh hell." Will stood just outside the kitchen, running his fingers through his hair. Mia next to him, her face white as a sheet and her hands covering her mouth. Jay rushed forward and pushed Will aside. I rounded the corner but stopped when I saw all the blood on the floor. I grabbed onto the counter for support. Lucy lay in the middle of the puddle, a knife and an empty pill bottle beside her.

"Emily," Jay's voice pulled me out of my glazed state of mind. "Call 911." I wanted to help. I tried to move to do as he asked. I could see the pain and desperation etched on his face as he took off his shirt and tried to stop the bleeding. But I couldn't move.

"I'll do it." Will squeezed my shoulder and grabbed a cellphone off the bar. It looked like mine, but I couldn't be sure.

"Here," Ashley bent down next to Jay with a bundle of towels in her hands. She wrapped one around the wrist closest to her as Jay did the same.

"Is...Is she..." Mia, who had been the initial screamer stammered.

Ashley pressed her fingers to her neck. "She has a pulse, but it's weak."

"God damnit, Lucy." Jay cursed, tears rolling down his face.

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to comfort him. But I could barely breathe. Much less make my legs move. It was as if time had slowed down. I was vaguely aware of Will coming back up beside me and leading me to the couch.

It felt like it took forever for the EMS to arrive. I watched from the couch, Will and Mia beside me, as two EMTs and a couple firefighters entered the apartment. I watched them load Lucy, bloody and barely breathing onto a stretcher. I watched Jay as he stood, blood on his hands and knees.

At some point a cop had arrived and he was now standing in the middle of the living room asking questions. Jay paced back and forth as the EMTs started to roll out the stretcher. I watched them go, thinking how lifeless she looked. Bile rose up in the back of my throat and I jumped up. I slammed into my bedroom and rushed to the toilet, retching up my insides.