walk in our shoes//stray kids

six

changbin

no one talked to changbin. not that he would want to talk to himself either. he was the definition of a "bad boy" but despite his appearance he was actually the warmest person underneath the leather and haze of cigarette smoke.

he just put up a front to not get attached to anyone..he couldn't afford any distractions.

changbin ran away from his current foster home after his host mother lashed out at him once again. for changbin it seemed that he couldn't catch a break, bouncing from shitty home to shitty home, and he hoped his sister was okay..

wherever she was.

they had been separated on a bright spring day, but despite the sun beaming changbin and his sister, seolah, were ripped apart from one another. he would never forget how she screamed and cried as the social workers tried to usher her in the car. they didn't even get to hug each other goodbye..

but it was for the best. seolah deserved a better life and a happy family that wouldn't mind taking care of her despite her impaired hearing. that was why their mother didn't want them, not that she would've took care of them anyways when she was high 25/8.

changbin was the one who basically raised seolah from birth. at just the age of fourteen changbin was working trying to provide for both him, his baby sister, and mother who only stayed in their poor excuse of a home to eat and drink then leave. it was hard for someone that young to put on such responsibilities, but he knew he had to because if he didn't who would?

afternoons that were once filled with soccer and friends were now filled with crying and rocking, nights of sleep were now nights of pure agony as he got less that five without waking up minutes later. seeing her pretty lips wide open as she wailed made him want to cry his own self as he was sleep-deprived and aching all over from a strenuous shift just hours before.

but changbin kept pushing for her. as she grew he kept track of all her moments. her first steps, her first time eating real food, her first ear piercing, her first time at school. changbin was basically seolah's father, mother, and older brother all in one and despite the load he wouldn't change it for the world.

until someone found out that his mother was basically non-existent in their life and called child protective services. of course they found out that his mother was an addict and promptly took them away and put her in a hospital to overcome her addiction. changbin was only seventeen at the time so he couldn't get parental rights over her, and having to explain to her that they would be going somewhere else was something he hoped to never go through again.

they didn't tell him that they would be separated..

all he could do was sob as his sister cried and made unintelligible sounds trying to form words, but not being able to as she had never heard them before.

changbin tried so hard to find out what happened to his sister but they wouldn't tell him anything. no matter how hard he tried or stayed on hold for what felt like an eternity, he was kept in the dark about his little sister's whereabouts.

he had missed her birthday..her first without him and changbin had never felt so lost. he felt utterly lost without having someone to take care of, to look forward to seeing to when coming home, to have a reason to keep going...

changbin lost himself and before he knew it he was hanging around the wrong crowd and being peer-pressured to smoke. he smoked just for the aesthetics at first but now he couldn't go a day without a drag and he had turned into the one thing he hated: an addict.

he hadn't even realized what a monster he was turning into until his friends had dared him to rob an old lady. they had laughed and said it was just a joke and changbin knew it was wrong but he was too scared of being shunned by them...so he did it.

he quickly snatched the purse from the unsuspecting old woman and changbin avoided touching her at all. the deed was already wrong and he didn't want to hurt her violently. except his friends wanted more and they came over and started beating her.

changbin immediately intervened and fought them all single-handedly. they left the scene bruised and cursing at him to not talk to them anymore, not he minded anyway, he was always a bit of a loner.

guilt rushed over him as he helped the old woman up to her feet and she was practically crying. how could he have done something so terrible to a vulnerable woman..? changbin felt disgusted with himself as he helped the woman to a nearby cafe and told the barista that she had been assaulted. of course he didn't tell him he was apart of it because he didn't want to believe it his own self, and he found himself helping the elderly woman.

she was as gentle in heart as she was in body and changbin nearly cried when she said he reminded him of her grandson. he was sure her grandson was much better than him..grandson's don't rob their grandmother's. he had given her money, which he couldn't really spare but gave it to her anyway because it was the least he could do, and was about the leave when he heard her ask, "what's your name, young man?!"

he didn't turn around as he cleared his throat and said, "seo changbin."

he never saw the old lady again and he was glad he didn't. changbin knew he wouldn't be able to handle it..

ever since changbin had turned eighteen he had been searching for his sister who was now six but had been unable to so far. he wondered if she had grown taller, if she had lost any teeth, if she still hated pickles, and loved tapioca pearls. he missed his little star so much..

and he couldn't afford to get distracted and possibly not find her. so changbin kept up the bad boy act by skipping classes and smoking, but he was in fact passing them all and trying to quit. he wouldn't use any sort of patch that would lessen the urge, no he was doing it naturally and was determined to better himself..

for seolah.

she was all he had and he had to turn himself over if he wanted to become her full time guardian one day. he was already making progress by getting a stable job and suitable living space for them. it wasn't the biggest place but perfect for two peoole to live in and all changbin had to do was find her..

she was out there somewhere just waiting for him to come.

it was late in the night when changbin suddenly had the munchies. nothing in his cabinets looked good enough to sate his hunger so he threw on his coat and began walking down the streets of seoul. it was surprisingly empty and quiet as the sky was clear enough to see the moon and changbin admired the view that he didn't often see in the city.

of course he had to be clumsy and he was so busy looking at the sky that he didn't see the slight raise in the concrete and the next thing he knew he was against the ground. he cursed quite colorfully as he lifted himself up and by the ache in his palms he knew he had scratched them.

changbin looked to his left and squinted as bright light beamed at him from above and he could just barely make out the letters Levant before looking away because the light hurt his eyes.

he didn't even question what the place was before opening the door and a warm tinkling sound rang through the silent night. changbin was immediately surrounded by heat and sighed in content as a scent that he couldn't recognize permeated the cafe.

changbin looked forward and flinched at the high-pitched sound of the male in front of him as he said, "our loner, and sixth one has arrived."