A Taste of Your Own Medicine

Changes

[??/??/2018] - Entry #5 - Medical notes.

Still on Loratadine. Noticeable change in mood. Elevated mood, depression quickly fading, but anxiety is getting worse. More energetic, better appetite, almost too good. Overeating is a possibility, further research is necessary. Buzzing sensation in entire body, still lacking any ability of sleep, it's gotten even worse in fact. Research on Loratadine's side effects has been postponed for other activities, but will be gotten to. Stopping Loratadine too soon would completely remove the point of taking it, so it will stay. 

I tucked the journal back into the manilla folder and put it into the filing cabinet, then took my recommended dose of the medication before swiftly putting it back. I'd almost gotten caught taking it before, it was a good thing I put it in colorful, blue capsules. I was able to convince Mikey that it was nothing but a breathmint. I didn't even have to come up with the lie, he just saw the container of breathmints nearby and assumed. It was a good thing too, I wasn't in the correct mindset to pull off a successful lie. I felt a little sick, I'd been eating too much lately and it was making me feel a lot worse than when I wasn't eating enough. I couldn't stop the medication too quickly though, it would only make things worse. I went to the main area to see what everyone else was doing, they were talking about Jupiter Jim. It was a good change of topic from what I'd been thinking about, it made me happy to have something more positive to think about. I sat down near them and listened to them.

"No, he wouldn't do that!" Leo laughed. "You just want your headcanon to be true because you want to be able to relate to him more, Raph!"

"C'mon, Leo, I wasn't saying he would, I was just saying he could." Raph chuckled. "Technically, unless proven otherwise, anything and everything is possibly canon."

"That's not how fandoms work!" Mikey giggled.

"Schrodinger's cat would disagree with both of you." I decided to pitch in. "Until the information is revealed to us by the creator, it's both completely possible and completely impossible at the time time, a paradox is created by the lack of information."

"What?" Leo looked at me. "English, Donnie."

"I- sigh." I rolled my eyes. "Schrodinger's cat is a scientific theory where if you put a cat in a box and leave it with a radioactive material connected to a contraption, it's not dead or alive until you open the box to see for yourself. It's about the fact that your perception of reality shapes what exists. Your perception of reality is your reality, making anything you know true."

"Don't try to kill a caaaaat!" Mikey whined.

"No, that's not the point." I facepalmed. "The cat's just an example, it's not real. Raph's perception of reality is different from Leo's. For Raph, his headcanon is true, and for Leo, it isn't. You need to choose for yourself what is true or not, you shape your reality more than anyone else can."

"Oh, I think I get it!" Raph smiled. "That's a pretty complicated way to explain that people have different opinions, but okay!"

"That wasn't the point, but it's close enough I suppose." I was just glad that they were trying to understand. I was more easily annoyed than usual, which was difficult to pull off considering I was, well... me. "Schrodinger's cat was a thought experiment to prove that as long as you have no access to information, nothing can be true or false, it's something in between and different altogether."

"You're talking quicker than usual, it's even harder to keep up!" Mikey put his face down in a pillow.

"I'm speaking faster than usual?" I blinked, then took note of that onto my wrist tablet. "I'm just enthusiastic is all, don't mind me."