Us Against The World

Baby Bean

A few hours later, Lucas and I were walking around Hyde Park, Lucas pushing Aeryn in her pram and a bag of bread hidden away for the birds. I felt calmer than I had in days; talking about the nightmare, about that horrific day had caused a great weight to have been lifted from my shoulders. We were going to move on with our lives, starting this morning, and we were having a wonderful time already, the sun was shining and I was here with my wonderful family. There were couples and other families all around us and in the park, for a while it felt like the world slowed right down.

We were excited as well, this afternoon, we were going to St. Thomas' for our first formal antenatal appointment, I was still in shock over it all I hadn't had any idea I was pregnant… no symptoms at all. The doctor who had confirmed the pregnancy declared me to be 10 weeks, so here we were heading for my 12 week check-up. Lucas' face was full of joy every time we spoke about it; he had said he'd dreamt of another baby when he'd been waiting for me to wake up in the hospital. He'd joked that it had been some kind of premonition… it seemed maybe, he was right in a way. After all, here we were engaged and expecting another child and he'd seen the wedding and me carrying our son.

Walking around the Diana fountain, I took in the beauty around us, London was a truly hectic place to be but we were blessed with places like this that kept us hidden away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Looking at the water flowing around the circles, I found myself understanding the symbolism behind it all, life truly did have its highs and lows and it was up to each of us to make the most of what we were given. The sun was shining and The Serpentine was sparkling as we walked along it going past The Lido where I was sure Lucas would insist on going for a coffee as was the norm for our quiet family walks. There they were, Aeryn's beloved ducks as soon as she saw them she started babbling loudly trying to tell us she'd seen her feathery friends. Lucas lifted her out of the pram and settled her onto his knee as we sat together just watching the various birds swim by. Then we saw some swans gliding gracefully through the water, two beautiful creatures side by side… within seconds my camera was out, they looked too good not to capture on film as I steadied my camera, Lucas spoke.

"Swans, they mate for life you know? Just like you and I… once they find one another, the swans don't need anyone else."

I took the photograph and smiled softly at Lucas, my eyes drawn down to look at Aeryn rocking backwards and forwards in excitement babbling happily at the swans as the swam by us. I kissed my daughters soft hair and leant in to kiss Lucas softly, my tongue run against his lips searching for a way in. Our tongues battled for dominance, as the kiss changed from a gentle one, to one filled with passion. Then I heard a tiny little voice.

"Mama… mama, dada, mama"

We froze, both Lucas and I looking down at our daughter in amazement, she'd said Dada a few times by now but never Mama… the tears of joy and pride threatened to fall, so taking a deep breath I took Aeryn from Lucas. My arms were sore but I didn't care, holding my daughter was the most amazing feeling, and after hearing her call me Mama for the first time I was desperate to have her there.

"Yes baby girl, I'm your Mama and I love you so much, yes I do, you're my little princess and the apple of my eye. Your Mama is going to be here for you every single day of your life Aeryn, whenever you need or want me, all you'll need to do is call me and I'll be with you."

We spent the next half an hour throwing bread into The Serpentine for the various birds, and I captured many photographs of Lucas and Aeryn together both of their faces filled with such emotion. We slowly wandered along The Serpentine, my arm linked with Lucas' as we headed towards the new restaurant to get some lunch. Aeryn dosed off in Lucas' arms, she truly was a Daddy's girl in every way.

Soon enough it was time for us to make our way to St Thomas' for our antenatal appointment, Lucas was practically jumping with excitement. Our midwife, Jenny was wonderful, for the moment we met her I felt at ease with her. We sat answering the same questions as we'd done when I was pregnant with Aeryn whether we smoked, family history, seemed to go on for ages before the forms were all filled in. Then the bit I was dreading, the blood test had to be done, Lucas stroked my hand trying to reassure me as Jenny prepared the needle and various containers.

"Chloe, my sweet girl, you have tattoos on your body and you want more! They take hours to get done, how can you be so afraid of this, it'll be done with in seconds and you won't feel it."

I didn't care what he said, I hated needles and I had a simple answer as to why I loved getting the tattoos and why the needles didn't bother me. I'd explained it to Lucas several times in the past. The way I looked at it, when I got a tattoo done I was paying for something I really wanted and it didn't hurt, nor did it involve someone taking my blood. Call me strange, but I preferred my blood inside me…

So I begrudgingly let them take my blood before weighing me, closing my eyes whilst she altered the scales. I never wanted to know my weight, especially when I was pregnant. Various other tests were done before we heard the words we were waiting to hear.

"I'm going to do an ultrasound, just to check the progress of baby. I know you had one done when you were in hospital Chloe but no harm in doing another one today, I need you to lie back for me whilst we do the scan but looking at the lovely little girl you have, you know that already."

She did the scan and there on the screen was our baby, a little miracle that Lucas and I had made together… The smile on his face was wonderful as he held Aeryn up to see. I think at that moment I fell a little more in love with him. I had the most incredible man in my life.