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A few weeks had passed since Erica had seen Joshua in person. Christmas had gone. New Year's came and went. No text, no call, nothing. She even moved out of his place and into her own starter apartment. Erica was desperate to speak to him again but he was intentionally avoiding her.
Erica passed her section in the art gallery. Max, her agent was talking about the art show in a few weeks. Everything he said was a big blur. He pointed to the square space. She stared ahead trying to wrap her head around her next project.
"Since the last installation, many clients have asked about your next show! My prediction is for you to earn at least six thousand dollars or more from one piece. But you need to generate an eight-piece collection. I've increased your space from last time." He looked up from his clipboard and to her.
Erica fixed her posture, "Eight pieces, got it."
"Don't let me down, Erica. If this bid goes well then we're looking at a four-city installation tour! A chance to meet other artists, agencies, and clients who want to buy more personal pieces." Max patted her back in support before leaving her.
...
"So you still don't know what to do?" Deja asked dipping her sushi in the dark soy sauce.
Erica shook her head, "I'm blocked right now."
"Why is that?" Carter popped her soda can open.
"Listen, there's something I've been meaning to tell y'all." Erica sighed feeling a headache coming. Taking a deep breath she recapped her friends on all the drama.
"The blogs were right then." Carter clicked her chopsticks together.
Deja giggled flipping her braids, "That's why Josh's game was off. He's probably heartbroken too."
Erica sucked her teeth, "No he ain't. He left me after I used the 'L' word. I thought I was fucked up but so is he."
"Maybe there's a reason why he left like that." Carter tried to be positive.
"At this point, I just need to focus on my art."
...
Erica flicked her paintbrush on the canvas. A few sketches sat on the stool next to her. A mixture of paintings and sculptures would be used in her installation. She had been up with insomnia. The morning sun began to rise as she finished her first piece.
It was a hot mess. Erica felt like it was ugly and under her true skill set. What the fuck! Maybe it was a mixture of her insomnia or lack of food but she could've sworn the picture began morphing in front of her.
Kicking the paint cup over she punched a hole into the canvas. Tears flew from her dry eyes. With wet paint on her hands, she sat on the floor and cried. It had nothing to do with the painting but she finally felt her heartbreak. Erica relied on Joshua a lot. And now that he was gone she couldn't do small things by herself.
"I take one step forward and end up taking ten steps back," Erica whispered to herself.
Looking at the mess she made she sighed. After her tantrum subsided she took a shower washing the paint off of her body. Finally refreshed Erica's stomach growled.
"I really need to work on that."
Erica knew that the cafe she and Josh frequented a lot was open. At nine in the morning, it shouldn't be too crowded now that the morning crew had finished the weekday rush. After walking for twenty minutes to clear her mind Erica picked up a coffee and a muffin.
Erica walked to the nearby park to clear her mind. The change in scenery was refreshing and Erica hoped it would clear her creative blocks. Sitting on a nearby bench Erica heard barking. Looking to her right she saw Rose running up to her.
"Hey, girl." Erica rubbed the excited dog with care.
The dog jumped into her lap and nuzzled her head in Erica's lap. Erica kissed the dog's head and continued to show Rose some much-needed love. Joshua came running up a few minutes later. He had no shirt on showcasing his perfect body.
"Rose, come on I told you to stop running up on strangers-" Josh cut himself short once he realized there was no stranger.
"Hi, Josh." Erica shyly spoke.
"Hey. Rose come on." Josh was cold to her.
The dog continued to sit in Erica's lap ignoring Josh. Rose obviously liked Erica better. Or maybe the dog knew just how well they worked together. Erica stood up. Rose whined but eventually went to Josh's side. Josh turned to walk away but Erica spoke.
"Joshua, wait." Erica said just in a whisper.
Josh couldn't even turn around all the way. Erica cleared her throat picking at her nails. The park was semi-crowded. Looking around she took it upon herself to walk next to Joshua. He began to stroll slowly holding onto Rose's leash.
"I know I shouldn't have said it. You weren't ready but I didn't deserve to be left like that. You didn't even say goodbye." Erica kept her eyes on the ground.
Joshua shook his head contemplating how to respond. He looked at her. She couldn't even look him in the eye either. But he had missed her dearly. His heart jumped the minute he saw her sitting on the bench. But Melo's voice crept back to his head.
"I know. I was an asshole for that. But I just needed to get out of there before it was too late."
"Too late for what? What happened, Josh?" He could see how she was two seconds from crying.
Josh sighed, "Before I hurt you even more."
Erica stopped walking, "You've never hurt me though. Until now at least."
"You look like shit. That's because of me. Look, it's just best if we move on."
Erica scoffed, "You really want that huh?"
Joshua nodded his head. Erica rolled her teary eyes. Of course, he couldn't say it out loud. Erica nodded.
