My lonely past (Shockwave TFP)

{Chap 7}

2 months have passed, Shockwave has lived for 2 months without absorbing energon during that period. The scientist was also quite impressed with his tolerance of hunger but now that his system has reached its limit, because without absorbing energon for a long period of time, Shockwave can hardly walk and his vision is so blurred. Now he is sitting on the ground, his optics were no longer as bright red as blood, but instead a very deep red, so deep that it could be mistaken for black but his state is even worse!! His body was covered in scars, making it hard to regonizes the used-to be purple color on his frame and his voice was hoarse, the scientist couldn't even spoke clearly now but as Shockwave was going to faint from exhaustion, he heard drilling noises. Then he starts to follow the sound to see the source of it, Shockwave limply walk through the forest until he sees a couple of Vehicons were carrying energon cubes, the scientist slowly follows them but until he was about walk into the energon mine, Shockwave accidently steps on a large twig and causing it to break, creating noises so he immdiately runs into one of the mines cave to hide. A couple hours later, the scientist was consuming a medium amount of energon by using an injector that he founded, he didn't want the Decepticons to found out that someone just broke into the mines and ate almost all of their energon, Shockwave couldn't let that happen so the one-optic Con ignores the rumbling sounds of his tank and was about to left. Until he sensed someone coming so without any hesitation, Shockwave immediately hid behind a large rock.

"Ah, it's was a relief to eliminated the threat, Starscream." It was Megatron speaking.

"Indeed my liedge, Shockwave might seen to be loyal to you but it was just his acting, after all." The SIC of the Decepticon replies to the warlord.

"But it was a shame that he didn't died in the cave inccident but by following my plan, using those pills to manipulated him to do as I ordered. Even though that I knew Shockwave would die cause of sucicide or cause of the pills." Megatron smirks at the last sentence.

Shockwave couldn't believe it, the whole world around him shatter into pieces. Megatron, the brutal warlord that the scientist vowed to be his forever loyal subordinate, is the mech who planned his death all along!? Shockwave can't- can't take it anymore!! The scientist's childhood life was too unhappy, he accepted to suffer in silence but ironically, everything seemed to be confronting Shockwave whether the scientist was against it or not. Now, really, Shockwave doesn't understand and DON'T WANT to understand...
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What does he live for? Why don't he just die? Why won't his sire kill him already for frag sake!!?
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Shockwave hate this, he hate that he was born, hated the times that the scientist had nightmares that haunted him. Being vulnerable or emotional is one of the things that Shockwave hated, he knew that being like that then people would pity him, thinking that he is a LOSER, PATHETIC Decepticon and beside, showing emotions would makes you looked more weak, it would not help you in anything in battles so what's the point on having emotions or being vulnerable when you're hurt, it will just hurt you more...right?