What you're name ?

Chapter 12 Kiss Me

Made by @cataclysmiceve1 on Twitter!
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Also a huge thank you to @STomaniki on twitter for helping me convert this thread into document form!! I appreciate you to the moon and back! (it also means I can put this out in longer chunks, because I'm not taking up as much time converting tweets!)

Enjoy!

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What...just happened?

Despite Dazai's insistence, Chuuya is the one that ends up making food for them, and while they're eating, he thinks. And Chuuya realizes something. Even after everything that's happened, Dazai hasn't ever actually kissed him. The first time, in his bedroom—that had been Chuuya's doing. And the second time, after chasing each other on the street...

...That had been Chuuya too.

And it's not like Dazai doesn't touch him. Really, Dazai is downright clingy sometimes—but it's never like that.

It's lingering in the back of Chuuya's mind when they go to Oda's house, Dazai leans against him while they sit on the couch and watch terrible zombie movies—Oda's favorites--and it's gnawing at Chuuya.

He runs through a million possibilities in his head. Chuuya has never actually been with anyone but Yuan before. Is he just not...good at it? Is it different, now that he's with a guy? Is he supposed to be doing something different—?

Is he doing something wrong? It's a distinct possibility. When they are kissing, Chuuya never knows what to do with his hands, if he should be the one to move first—he's just fumbling around with it.

Dazai is different. He's always relaxed, self-assured—and he's probably kissed so many other guys—

And, Chuuya realizes with a sinking pit in his stomach, they were probably all better at it than him.

He really, really wishes he was one of the zombies getting their head ripped off on screen right now.

He's silent on the ride home—and it doesn't escape Dazai's notice.

They step back inside the house, and once the door shuts, Dazai pokes Chuuya right between the eyes. "What is it?"

Chuuya frowns, rubbing his forehead "I don't know what you're—"

"Either you really didn't like the movie, or something's wrong." Dazai tilts his head. "Tell me."

"Nothing." Chuuya mutters, turning his head away. "You're overthinking it." He moves like he's going to head upstairs, but Dazai stops him with a hand on his wrist.

"I really don't think I am."

"Well—that's just—"

"You don't even know what it is—"

"Ha! So there is something!"

Chuuya groans,  "I was being stupid—"

And it's that part that makes Dazai frown. He likes teasing and needling Chuuya until the redhead is on the verge of a fit—but he's never liked it when Chuuya talks about himself that way. "Whatever it is, it isn't stupid."