What you're name ?

Chapter 28 Witness Marks

Made by @cataclysmiceve1 on Twitter!
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HUGE trigger warning for this chapter: descriptions of violence, assault, abuse, past trauma
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It doesn't exactly help Chuuya's mental state when the Judo team is competing at nationals.

He makes it to the semifinal match and ends up being pinned—because he just can't focus.

It's an achievement in itself—he's ranked third in his weight class in Japan.

But he's pretty sure he could have won the whole thing, if he felt normal .

He doesn't get to feel sorry for himself for that long though—because Elise is jumping into his arms and asking to see his trophy, and Kouyou and Oda have extremely embarrassing t-shirts with his name on it—which was Oda's idea, to Chuuya's surprise.

"Chuuya, I'm a design major," Kouyou laughs when he asks her about it during dinner, "if I was going to make a t-shirt to embarrass you, I'd pick a more flattering cut."

Later, when Fukuzawa and Chuuya are alone, waiting for everyone to come out of the restaurant, he asks, "You froze up at the end there. Were you...?"

Chuuya squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, leaning against the car. "Yeah."

"...I'm sorry."

Chuuya is tight lipped. "Don't be. I need to learn how to deal with it."

"It's still unfair."

He isn't wrong.

Chuuya finished out the season because he needed to show himself that he could handle it.But it's been a long time since he enjoyed the sport.And there are a lot of other things—normal, easy things—that Chuuya just can't do anymore.

"Did that happen to you?"

Fukuzawa thinks about it, "I quit my job. Three years out of a courtroom. And I can't go running anymore," he taps his leg. "I still get angry about it, sometimes."

Chuuya nods slowly. That makes him feel better, in a strange way—that something about his experience is common.

"When is Dazai coming?"

"The night before..." Chuuya fiddles with the hem of his jacket. It's still a little cold, for being so far into spring. "He was supposed to have an exam—but his professor gave him a waiver, given the circumstances..."

"It's good that he'll be there."

And it is good, having him there. When Dazai's train makes it in on the night of April 8th, it's already dark, and he's surprised to see Chuuya waiting on the platform. "You have to be up early in the morning," he walks over quickly, taking the redhead into his arms. "You didn't have to wait up on me—"

Chuuya shakes his head, leaning up on the tips of his toes as he winds his arms around Dazai's neck. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

"..." Dazai kisses his forehead, taking his hand as they walk away together "You know you can still back out, right?"

Chuuya squeezes his hand a little tighter, and he nods. "Between you, Fukuzawa, and Taneda—someone reminds me at least twice a day."