Made by @cataclysmiceve1 on Twitter!
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His university entrance exams come and go—easier than he expected, but it sort of helps when you have a study plan meticulously put together by one of the top test scorers in Japan.
Chuuya doesn't sleep as well as he used to.
What used to be fleeting dreams come back every single night. He wakes up gasping for air, clutching at his throat.
And he doesn't always call.
Chuuya promised Dazai that he would—and sometimes he still does, hyperventilating into the phone while his boyfriend talks him down, gently whispering to him until he falls back asleep. But if Chuuya called every single night, then Dazai would know.
So some nights, he just curls into a ball and cries, waiting for his heart to slow down, sniffling when Baki jumps on top of the pillows, nosing his way into the blankets and trying to climb into his t-shirt. It helps.
But it isn't the same.
"You," Edogawa-sensei offers him half of a popsicle, "look like utter shit."
"...Thanks," Chuuya frowns, reaching over to take it. "You realize it's below freezing, right?"
"That's perfect popsicle weather! Less mess when you eat."
Chuuya can't argue with him there. "Nakajima!" He barks as the players run by—they've just started spring conditioning. "Pick up the pace!"
"Y—yes, Chuuya-senpai!"
Chuuya takes a bite, lowering his voice. "Exams took a lot out of me, I guess."
Ranpo looks skeptical. "Have you heard back from any universities yet?"
Chuuya shrugs. "I've heard from the one here, and Osaka—I'm sure I'll hear back from the others when my second round of scores come back."
"I'm assuming you won't want to stay in Yokohama?"
Chuuya glances away, feeling...lost. "Honestly?" He sighs. "I don't even know if I want to go to college at all."
"...Really?" Ranpo raises an eyebrow. "I'm not your parent or anything—but that would be a shame. You're a smart kid—you'll have lots of opportunities."
"Sure, but..." Chuuya sighs. "Atsushi was telling me how he wants to be a veterinarian, after volunteering with the local office. Junichiro wants to go into psychology, because of the classes he took here, and..." Chuuya closes his eyes. "I've spent most of high school just trying to stay on my feet. Even Dazai had some idea of what he wanted to do when he graduated, and I—"Chuuya sighs. "It's not like my parents are going to be helping me anymore—so financially, it isn't going to be easy, and I—"
"If you /genuinely/ don't want to go to college, that's one thing," Ranpo leans back against the fence railing. "But is you honestly think no one is gonna help you," Ranpo shakes his head. "You're wrong."
"But—"
"Some kids in your situation? Maybe not—but you have a lot of people who want you to succeed."
YOU ARE READING
What you're name ?
Fanfiction"I said, what's your name?" Dazai snaps to attention to see that Chuuya is staring right at him, and suddenly his mouth feels like sandpaper. Jesus. Who has eyes like that?! "Ozai-" "Huh?" "Dazoo-" "I'm sorry, what?" "Dazai Osamu." Sometimes--the wo...
