Misunderstood bxb (completed)

Chapter 11

WARNING:
May be triggering for some.

Chris's POV
I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and stood walking to my trinket box that stood silently on my desk. I grabbed it, and drifted across the room towards the connecting bathroom. I walked in, staring at the pure white tiles, I fought back the tears that threatened to fall once again. This is what it had come to, me breaking my one promise to my mother.
Flashback:
I sat at the edge of the tub, gripping the thin, silver razor. I brought it to my frail, pale skin and cut. Cutting and cutting until the blood bubbled out of my skin and flooding the bathroom floor. I had been cutting since I was 13 and I couldn't stop. It was my one way of forcing the pain away, it was like my one way to fight the depression that was inside me. I cried, tears mixing with the crimson liquid that I had grown so accustomed to. I don't understand why I do it, it just made me feel better. Like I wasn't as useless as I was constantly made to feel. The razor was all of a sudden, torn from my grasp and thrown across the room, landing in the corner with a clatter. I looked up, peering through the tears to see my shaking mother, tears springing to life in her eyes. "W-why?" She asked sounding so small and broken. I looked down sadly and so ashamed. "Why would you do this to yourself Chris?" She asked again and I couldn't even look at her let alone answer her question. "DAMN IT CHRIS ANSWER ME!" I looked up in shock and she was wiping at her tears, like me she hated to be seen crying. "I-I don't M-mom." It was then that she collapsed into my arms, crying, the cold tears flowing freely from her eyes like a flowing river. "I-I'm sorry mom." She cried harder burying her head in my chest. "H-how long have you been doing this?" I didn't want to answer her, I knew that she would break like a fragile bowl if she knew the answer. "5 years." I answered honestly, and she pulled back abruptly looking at me. A look of shock and hurt in her big blue eyes. "I-I need to tell your father baby." She whimpered out and stood up to leave. Knowing that if she told my dad, I would surely be locked up in a mental hospital. "No mom please don't." I begged grabbing her small wrist and holding it firmly. She looked down at me, then at my arm. Scars littered them, some pale and old, others pink and fresh, and the newest one red and ugly. Blood flowed down my arms and stained my shirt, but I didn't care, it didn't matter to me. "Promise me." she stated firmly and I furrowed my eyes in confusion and wonder. "Promise me that you will stop." She quickly and firmly answered my unasked question. I sighed releasing her and laying my arm back in my lap. "Y-yes I-I promise." I stated before standing and leaving my mom staring after me.
Flashback ended:
I remember running straight out of the house after that and not coming back until 4 hours later. I weakly tore open the box and found the razor blade staring back at me. I smiled sadly, it was like seeing an old friend after years. I haven't cut since that day, honoring my promise. Its been exactly 5 months and 6 days. I was so proud if myself, so happy that I had managed to escape the haunting depression. Now it had finally caught up with me, it was back with a vengeance, breaking me down and ripping me apart. I sat on the edge of the tub, before pulling out the razor, bringing it to my skin. I felt so bad for breaking my final promise to my mom. But who cares... she's dead. I ripped open my already scared skin, I smiled at the familiar sensation filling me up as the blood poured out. I cut again and again and again, until a single word was carved into my skin.
'Dead'
I stared at it, not be able to tear my eyes from the single, bloody word. I had no clue weather I meant it as the fact my parents were dead, or rather how I wanted to be. I sighed in content and quickly cleaned off the blade, placing it back in its small cage. I wiped off my cuts and cleaned the blood from the floor. I replaced the box to its familiar resting place and retreated to my bed. I had nothing else to do today so I guess I will sit in the cold, hauntingly lonely room.

A/N
Hey guys here's a new chapter and I'm sorry that it was kinda gory and may have been triggering. I wanted to let ya'all know that if you're through something like this I'm always here to talk and will not judge you. I love you all and if you just want to talk about random stuff or serious stuff just drop me a comment. bye lovelies.