The Family that Chooses You

Chapter 13: Consequences

Harry woke a little after an hour.  A quick check by Pomfrey showed that his knee was completely healed and his swelling subsided.  He did feel better, much better than any other time he had been injured.  In the past he had to rely on his body's natural healing to recover.  Not for the first time, and he knew it would not be the last, he was so happy to have magic in his life.

He still felt unsettled.  He had not realized how much better he felt since coming to Hogwarts.  Not seeing the Dursleys, not hearing their verbal abuse, avoiding their actions, he had no idea how much safer he had felt since coming to school.

Being called 'freak' stripped that feeling of safety away.  Getting hurt reminded him of the last years of life with the Dursleys in a very intense way.  He had taken the relative quiet and peace at Hogwarts for granted.

He hated being reminded of what he went through in the past.

He could feel himself changing back again.  His shoulders hunched and he tried to look small.  The panic was returning.  The feeling that any moment something terrible would happen.  That he would lose something he had grown attached to.

The only thing that kept him from breaking down utterly, from becoming what he was again, was knowing he had friends now.  Friends that looked out for him, that cared about him.

A part of him still could not believe that he had friends.  Some inner hateful voice, that sounded like any one of the three Dursleys, whispered to him.  Telling him his friendships were false.  They called him dreadful things, saying no one would ever be friends with him.  It was a thought that never fully left his mind.

The voices were especially loud as he walked back to Gryffindor tower.  They overwhelmed him and he sniffled.

"Harry."

He stopped and turned towards Angelina but he kept his eyes on the ground.  He did not want her to see him crying.

She knelt before him, her eyes roughly at the same height with his.  "Harry, Katie told me what happened."

He stood there.

"You know you did nothing wrong, right?  Grimshaw is a horrid git and you were bullied for no reason."

He nodded, unconvinced.

"You are not a freak."

He flinched at the word.

"Harry, look at me.  Look at us."

He looked up, tears pooling in his eyes.  He saw Katie's and Angelina's eyes also threatened with tears.  He felt even more terrible, making them cry because of him.

It's all your fault, the hateful voices whispered.  You make your so-called friends cry.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what Harry?" Katie asked.

He gestured lamely.  "For making you cry.  For upsetting you."

"You're not upsetting us," Katie insisted.  "We're upset for you.  There's a difference."

"I got you in trouble," he replied.  "I made you lose points."

"I did what I did because I wanted to.  It's not your fault in the slightest."

He shifted from foot to foot.  "Others will get mad for the House losing points."

"Let them.  I don't regret it.  I'd do it again.  Our friendship is worth it."

You're not worth it.

"I'm not worth it," he repeated.

"Bollocks to that!"