LOYAL [TWD] (third book to TROUBLE)

nanami and carl

"Do you think we could pull it off?" Carl asks once more.

Nanami's leg was jumping under the table. He grips the ends of his sleeves and nots. 

"We can make it work because we have to."

Carl slowly nods in agreement. 

"Carl-"

"We should brace the others for the ice storm. It'll be dangerous."

"Who are we going to tell?"

Carl taps his finger on the table, thinking it over, "Only those we trust enough to keep their shit in line."

Nanami didn't like that. Despite the years apart, he knew what Carl was saying. Sakiko couldn't come. 

"She's a good fighter-"

"Nanami," Carl scolds.

"She almost killed Beta. Alpha has a.. I don't know- this thing for her."

"So, she's a liability."

"She's caught in the middle."

"Attention seeking."

"Carl!"

Carl shakes his head- rolling his eye, "Don't forget that she put you through hell."

"We put her through hell," Nanami reminds.

"And she's the reason you left!" Carl snaps, standing from his seat, "Goddamn.. She's been pulling this shit forever- you told me all about how it was growing up. You leave for years and suddenly decide to have her back despite everything she's done."

"I've done things Carl. You have, too. None of us would be alive if we didn't do those things."

"We were saving lives when she was going on a kill spree-"

"Carl, I killed at least twenty people before the war. Double that during the war. And Kiko.. She's trying to save people, too. She'd die for me. For our dad. She saved Benjamin, Sophia, Enid-"

"That's not the point-"

"She's saved you before! She's trying to be better. She's trying to do better!"

"And because of her, my dad and Michonne are gone!"

Nanami's temper was boiling like a kettle. 

"Rick blew up the bridge. He refused our help. Sakiko was willing to help him! She was there, taking down walkers to save him! She didn't want that, Carl!"

Carl begins to walk away and Nanami chases after him into the living room.

"And Michonne was leaving to protect people! Kiko was the one sticking her neck on the line and tracking those dipshits because she wanted to be the one fighting and no one else would be hurt."

"Why-"

"Look, when.. When I was out there.." Nanami tries to calm the situation down, "I got into shit. And it was Maggie and Glenn that saved my ass."

"Okay?" Carl shrugs.

"And it made me feel like shit because I realized.. That if I knew it was them or even Sakiko in that position.. I don't.." Nanami takes a deep breath.

He could say this with Carl. It was safe with him, even after all these years.

"I looked at myself and I wasn't sure if I would have the urge to save them if the roles were reversed," Nanami confesses.

Carl crosses his arms. He wouldn't save them, either, if he was honest.

"And that made me feel like shit because even after all the shit that happened, they didn't hesitate to save me."

"We didn't kill their family."

"No, but we did try and protect the man that did kill their family."

"So, you're saying that all this is about Sakiko and Ryan?"

"No, I'm not. And you keep saying that Kiko tries to make things about herself but the reality is that it's you that keeps bringing her up and making it all about her. You're the one putting her center of attention."

Carl huffs. He looked indifferent now. Nanami wasn't sure what to make with that.

"Carl.. Negan almost killed you. He didn't get to because the Kingdom saved us. Because Sakiko saved Benjamin and got through to Ezekiel. She saved you that day. She saved me from not going through what she did. What she's still going through. Carl, she saved us."

"And then you left and killed us," Carl hisses lowly.

"Yeah.. I did. I fucked up. I left. Don't project all this shit on her just because you're looking for someone to blame. You're blaming her because you can't blame me, I get it. I've been there before."

Carl gives him a look of disbelief.

"I blamed Sakiko of or us getting beat as kids because she had the loud mouth because I was too scared to blame that piece of shit 'father' we had. I blamed Merle, Michonne, and Kiko for Woodbury because I didn't want to accept that I was wrong."

Nanami takes a careful step closer to Carl.

"Please, let's just.. just for a little bit.. ignore the past. This isn't the Governor, Negan, or anything in between. This is the Whisperers who killed a lot of our people from all places. We need to band together and finish this before it gets worse."

Another tense step. He's nearly in front of Carl now.

"We're stronger together. The reason the Whisperers got one over on us was because we were separated and didn't know each other like we used to. We gotta change that. This was your plan. You wanted us to all come together. You even wanted Negan a part of that. Don't change that because heavy shit went down. Do it because that shit happened and we need to right the wrongs."

"Yeah.." Carl mutters, running a hand over his face.

"Michonne said this is your show. And I've always been following your lead. And Sakiko.. She just needs someone to follow right now."

Carl is silent for a full minute. Finally, he sighs again.

"All right. We need to get to work, then."

"Carl.."

Carl gives Nanami a look. There were thousands of unsaid words. Things they needed to let out. 

"Tell me after," Carl decides.

"We don't know if there's an after. This is a big risk."

"Yeah.. So, let's make sure there's an after, huh?"

Nanami frowns. He wanted.. God, he wanted so much. he forgot what it was like to want. But, he'd never wanted Carl more in his life.

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

this book and the twin's series is almost done holy shit we in the final stretch