LOYAL [TWD] (third book to TROUBLE)

next plan

"It doesn't.. it doesn't feel real," Sakiko gets out.

"It doesn't," Rosita agrees, resting her head on Sakiko's where she was laying on her shoulder, "Talking about it.. It can make it real. Real enough to heal from it, at least."

Sakiko stares at Ryan's grave, Abraham's beside it.

"Things were so normal that morning. We were arguing over how to make our eggs of all things," she laughs, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"Did he want them scrambled again?" Rosita chuckles, a cry caught in her throat.

"Of fucking course," Sakiko cries, "God, it hurts so much."

Rosita snuggles a bit closer, though they were as close as two people could get.

"I feel like I can't even be sad over Abraham. I mean.. he dumped me. He broke my heart. But, this.. This is killing me."

"You're allowed to feel however you want. Fuck anyone who says differently."

"He was different. You know I told you about all the guys- I mean all the guys, I've been with before. I was settled with him, though."

"No, I know," Sakiko assures, drawing patterns on Rosita's jeans, "I thought I would never get in a relationship. Then, Ry just had to show up and ruin all that."

"You two were perfect. I've seen couples but.. You were special. You two just clicked."

Sakiko sniffles, "He made me happy. He made me want to be happy."

"You know he'd still want that for you, right?"

"I do," Sakiko nods, "It's just gonna be a lot harder without him. I get the whole 'he's still with you', I do. But.. It's not the same."

"Negan's gonna pay. I'm right there by your side, Cariño."

"What happened back at Alexandria?"

"I was trying to end it," Rosita scoffs at herself, "I forced Eugene to make me a bullet. After Negan killed Spencer.. I snapped. My anger blinded me. I took the shot and that goddamn bat was in the way."

"Why didn't you make Eugene make you two bullets?"

Rosita laughs and Sakiko follows. Despite the deprecating laughter, they only cried more.

"Fuck if I know," Rosita sobs, "I.. I was going to keep it and wait. But, then, that happened and.."

Sakiko plants her forehead on the side of Rosita's shoulder, "Fucking hell."

"Gabriel tried to talk me out of it. Calm me down. First Abraham, then Spencer, though.. Me and Spencer were supposed to have dinner last night."

"'m sorry, Mami."

"What about you? What happened at that place?"

Sakiko takes a breath.

"Negan wanted me to marry him."

"The fuck?"

"Yeah," Sakiko huffs, "Said that if I did, then he'd stop torturing my dad. That things would be 'easier'."

"Did he-"

"No. No, he didn't even get near me like that."

Rosita relaxes.

"Made me clean.." Sakiko trails off, "It's not important."

"It is," Rosita argues.

"Talking about it makes it real," Sakiko reminds.

Rosita sighs, leaning back enough to rest her lips on Sakiko's head. She stays there for a second, rubbing her back.

"Whatever they did," Rosita mumbles into Sakiko's hair, "We're gonna make it right. Or at least something that makes us feel kind of right again."