𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐤 | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐔𝐬

07. Would You Let the Girl Speak?

S E V E N
Would You Let the Girl Speak?

Bill and Frank loved each other. They loved each other so much, and so deeply that neither one could stand living without the other.

It was a true, genuine, and pure love, one free from persuasion and manipulation. One of those loves only a lucky few people get to experience.

I thought I was one of them, the lucky few.

But, boy, was I wrong.

The love I shared was one-sided, full of deception, persuasion and manipulation. Looking back on it, with the advantage of hindsight and without the rose-tinted glasses being sixteen gave me, I can see all the red flags. But I was so fucking blind, so desperate for someone to tell me they loved me that I probably wouldn't even have cared if I saw them. I wanted someone to love me. I was young and dumb. I followed blindly, putting trust in people who didn't deserve it. And he took it and ran with it, pulling me along for a ride that hurt me in every way possible.

And at the end? He left me to die. He was almost indifferent at the prospect of living without me.

Ryan didn't give a fuck about me. He was selfish.

I was warned, time and time again, but I held onto those rose-tinted glasses like my life depended on it.

August, 2019.

My head leans against Ryan's shoulder. "There's a big world out there, Bob." He begins the conversation we've been over, time and time again. He wants to leave the QZ, he doesn't like all the rules, the way they control him.

I don't say anything, not wanting to start shit that doesn't need to be started.

"We could be free of all the things holding us back here. I wouldn't have to work, and you wouldn't have Joel judging your every move." I shut my eyes as he speaks, enjoying the warmth on my face.

"Maybe," I mumble noncommittally.

He turns to look at me, my head slips off his shoulders, and his rough hand grabs my chin, angling it to look at him.

"You know I love you, right?" He asks, I nod, "So you know all I want is the best for you, right?" I nod, "Joel- I know you've known him since you were a kid, but he doesn't care about you Bob, you know that, right?" My head doesn't move this time. I always thought, that despite him being rough around the edges, he cared. It wasn't all fighting, there were some good moments, they had to be real. Or at least they were on my end. "Bob, I know it's hard, but I need to be honest with you. He doesn't love you, I do. I would do anything for you. He'd trade you for a good pair of socks," he smiles, I don't.

That's almost what my mother did, she'd trade my food for drugs. Neither Tommy nor Joel did that.

"You need to be realistic, you're sixteen, he's going to kick you out any day now, so why not be the one to leave? Show him you don't care, that you're stronger than he thinks."

"Ryan, I don't want to talk abo-"

"It's hard, I get that, but think about the last conversation you two had that didn't involve insults or shouting? The last time he didn't take the opportunity to criticise you? When do I do that? I love you, and take care of you, so let me take care of you."

"You don't get it, Joel-" I try and get a sentence in to explain how Joel and I work.

"Bob, let's not fight, okay? Just think about it, about exploring everything, imagine how fun that would be, getting to see things we've only read about."