Silent Riot | Regulus Black

FORTY FOUR

Pain. Anguish. Agony.

Guilt. Regret. Remorse

The emotions battled for dominance in her heart, waging war to emerge victorious. In their fury they ripped her to shreds, wrenched and wrung out her insides until she felt as though someone had pulled and torn at every inch of her. 

Not that it was anything she didn't deserve.

She sat numbly across from Dumbledore. Regulus was next to her. They were talking but she wasn't listening, she wasn't comprehending any of the words. Regulus had his hand wrapped tightly around hers but it offered no comfort; she couldn't even feel it. 

'Sir, I don't think she's in the position to be answering questions just yet,' Regulus said glancing worriedly at his companion after she'd ignored the headmaster for hundredth time. It had been less than an hour, and she still hadn't said anything. He was filled with sorrow himself, but at that moment his concern for her was all he thought about. 

'Very well. Miss Aston should return to my office in an hour,' the man replied, adjusting his spectacles and glancing down at the piece of parchment. 'Alone,' he added. 

'Alone?' The dark haired boy repeated hesitantly, but Dumbledore did not even acknowledge him this time. Gritting his teeth, Regulus gave a reply of agreement, before gently telling Gemma it was time to go. She didn't look at him, just stood up and left the room. 

They walked. Regulus wasn't quite sure where they were going, he was just going wherever she was going, and she definitely didn't know where they were going. 

'Is there... would you... do you want to talk?' He broke the silence unsurely.

'No.'

He nodded, and they entered the dungeons in silence. Upon entering, they found it was empty, as everyone was down in the Great Hall eating. Only Ted and Luke sat in the armchairs, and they sprang up upon seeing Regulus and Gemma. 

'Guys!' Ted said running up to them. Her heart froze in its place, and she felt as though she had been submerged in water. How could he not know? How could the world not know, how could it carry on as though nothing had changed, when everything had changed?

'Where have you been?' Luke scolded. 'Ted told me about Snyde.'

'Did you find him?' Ted pressed. 'Is he okay?'

Regulus and Gemma stayed stock still. Stone silent. 

'Did we accidentally press the mute button on you?' Luke joked. 'Say something.'

'Hey, where's Iz?' Ted asked. The air turned frigid as tears began falling from her eyes once again, and Ted's smile dropped from his face, turning into one of worry. 'What, what is it? Is she hurt? Is she okay?'

'No,' Regulus said finally. 'I- there's-' He ran his hands through his hair. 'You guys should sit down.'

'No,' Ted said, folding his arms. 'I need to be able to run to Iz if she isn't okay.'

'Well we need to sit,' Regulus said, and he guided Gemma into the seat beside him. He took a deep breath, then began telling them about the events of the encounter. Gemma didn't listen to a word he said, but she knew when he was done. 

Luke had gone beyond pale, and he wasn't saying anything. Ted however, had a very different reaction. 

'You're lying,' he said slowly. 'There's no way-'

'It's the truth,' Regulus said, choking on his own words. 

'No!' Ted snarled, his eyes darkening with rage. He moved towards the door, and without thinking, Gemma darted up to stop him, grabbing his wrist before he could wrench it open.

'It is the truth,' she whispered. For a brief moment, Ted was paralysed, as raw emotion crossed over his features. Then his eyes turned an inky black, and rage grasped a hold of his face.  He pulled out his wand, and before Luke or Gemma or Regulus could react, he roared, 

'Crucio!' 

The pain was so intense, so all-consuming, that Gemma forgot where she was... white-hot knives were piercing every inch of her skin, her head was surely going to burst with pain, and she knew she was no longer standing as she felt her nerve endings being burnt. The only thing stopping her from begging mercy was her own self- loathing, the awareness that she didn't deserve mercy. She deserved so much worse that this.

'Ted stop!' Luke yelled, trying to grab the wand from him, but there was no stopping him, not like this. 

'She murdered her!' Ted roared, a deranged edge audible in his voice. 'It's her fault!'

'It's not her fault,' Regulus yelled. 'You'll kill her!'

'Ted you have to stop!' Luke begged desperately. 'Iz would hate you for this.' It was like flipping a switch. The pain fell away instantly and left only a dull ache as Gemma curled up on the floor. Ted looked at her, as anguish clouded his eyes, which were back to their leafy green colour.

'I hate you,' He choked. 'I wish it was you. Not her.' 

He turned and left, but not before pointing his wand at Iz's favourite armchair. It exploded in a cloud of dust. 

With those words, Gemma felt more alone than she ever had, as she sank further and deeper into her despair.

.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

She was back in Dumbledore's office. She wasn't quite sure how she'd got there. She imagined Regulus had walked her. 

'Miss Aston,' Dumbledore said kindly. 'I'm aware of how Miss Greengrass' death may have affected you, but I'm afraid I must urge you to look to the future.'

'What about the future,' she said dully

'I'm sure you are aware of how quickly rumours appear to spread at Hogwarts. It is only a matter of time before the news of your friend's unfortunate demise gets around, and I'm sure you could imagine parents' horror when they learn that the murder took place on school grounds. It is my unfortunate job to ensure that this news never reaches unwanted ears, to avoid such disastrous consequences.' Gemma paused a moment to unravel what he'd just said. 

'What are you suggesting?' She asked slowly. She was almost certain she wouldn't like the answer. 

'Tomorrow during the day, you will claim she is sick in the Hospital Wing. Then, at dinner, a charm will be cast on the students in the banquet hall. The sorrow I hold is unspeakable at being burdened to do this, but all memory of Isolde Greengrass attending this school will be wiped from their minds.'

'You can't do that,' she said shakily. 'I- it's wrong. How- What?'

'Her family will be made to believe that she is studying abroad, in Ilvermony, America, a distance which owls cannot travel.'

'You can't do that,' Gemma snarled, standing up, but Dumbledore just surveyed her calmly. 

'After this night, only you and I will know what took place. Think of it as a kindness. I am protecting everyone from grief, perhaps...' Dumbledore said. 

'What are you talking about?' She interrupted, and he looked up, as though he'd only just noticed her. 'I won't let you do it. I'll tell everyone about her.'

'Then I shall have no choice but to wipe your memory too,' he said. 'I hope it will not come to that.'

What you are doing is wrong, ' she said forcefully.

'Sometimes, immoral decisions must be taken... but it is all for the good of something, Miss Aston, remember that.'

Two days later and Gemma still hadn't left her dormitory, not to eat, not to talk to someone, and not to go to lessons. Her friends had tried, tried to comfort her. But when Ted told her a joke in an attempt to cheer her up, his hatred and grief forgotten, she knew she'd never be able to look any of them in the eye again. 

She was drowning in her own guilt, and eventually she'd get tired of struggling to swim.