after years, your best friend's older brother makes an earth shattering appearance back into your life. and suddenly, a shared secret not only turns your lives upside down but forces you two to be closer together than ever.
est. may 2023
TSUKISHIMA STOOD IN FRONT of your door, his hand in the air waiting for his brain to finally commit to the urge to actually knock on it instead of waiting there like an idiot. he sighed quietly, letting the low sound of the tv show playing on your laptop fill the silence. it had been a couple hours since you argued and every moment felt like torture.
since he was a teenager, his life had always felt like everything was out of his control: his passions, his emotions, his thoughts, his words. he'd learned over the years that, to feel sane, he needed to stay in control of everything, which he had, to a degree. but this past week has been full of unexpected, unpleasant surprises and he didn't care for it at all. every day he was with you, it felt like he was being forced to reveal things he never intended to reveal, about himself and, most of all, about his lifestyle.
he never meant for you—or anybody—to find out that he'd been keeping tabs on everyone for the past few years.
it's not like he was proud of it. he doesn't even know how he let it slip—how he could be stupid enough to make the mistake of letting you catch him in his lie. it's obvious: tsukishima got too comfortable with you. yet he couldn't bring himself to be angry because, as much as he hated to admit it, the last few days had been easier because you were around. it's to be expected that you wouldn't have just let his slip up fly over your head. no, you were too smart for that.
with a deep breath, he finally seized the moment and rapped his knuckles against the door. the sound of the show in the background paused suddenly, prompting him to turn the doorknob and slowly crack the door open.
you were on your bed, laid out on your side with your laptop propped up on a pillow. your nose was lightly shaded with pink as you looked up at him and smiled weakly. "hey, trouble."
a heavy sensation sank into his chest as he observed the sorrowful expression in your eyes. he expected to be met with anger, like back in the kitchen or that one day in the laundry room, but the only emotion he picked up on was a profound sadness. in that moment, tsukishima wished you were angry at him instead; he would have preferred your resentment over having to witness your dejection.
he couldn't quite place this emotion—put a name to it or understand why he felt that way, but it's presence was undeniable.
"are you... okay?" he asked, an uncomfortable look on his face.
you shrugged, shifted a bit, and sat up. tsukishima inched closer to you.
"i just really don't get it," you confessed. "i've spent the last five years trying to understand and i just can't. i mean, i want to—we all want to, but you never even gave us an inch of anything to go by."
