While going out from dyut sabha, I was guilt ridden, ashamed, beyond hurt from my inside. I was not angry with anyone but myself. I knew that whatever happened today was only my fault. It was me, who staked my kingdom, my people, my brothers and my...
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The sight of Kalyani's hesitated eyes and sorrowful face was making me impatient. I asked her impatiently, "Kalyani, what happened dear? Do you want to say something?"
She slightly nodded her head and raised gloomy eyes to look at me. Then she spoke in a very sorrowful voice, "Hey Jyeshth Kuntinandan (O eldest son of Kunti), the haunting memories of Dyut Sabha are making me sombre. I still remember, while leaving Hastinapur, everyone, except those 4 wicked souls, were welled with tears."
I lowered my eyes, while taking a deep breath, and nodded slowly. Kalyani's words had reminded me about those unfortunate memories which had been haunting me past every night.
Sahadev's word interrupted my line of thoughts, "Panchali, do those wicked souls even know how to cry? They are stone hearted. I am sure, they must be delighted thinking that we eat on leaf plates and sleep on hay mats. Dear, please do not grieve thinking about them." I noticed all my brothers except Bheem, had gathered around us on the veranda outside the hermitage. I signalled them, through my eyes, to get seated on the hay mat.
Panchali started shedding tears. She wiped a streak of tear from her rosy cheeks and said, while looking at Sahadev, "Aryaputra, I am not aggrieved with the thoughts of those wicked souls. But I cannot bear to see you all in these pathetic conditions." Then she turned towards me and said, "Aryaputra, seeing you all sleeping on these haybeds and hay mats, I get reminded about the luxurious life at Indraprastha. In those fortunate days, you, adorned in white expensive silk garments, remained surrounded by innumerous kings and ministers in your bright courts and, today, wrapped in these tattered rags, you are surrounded by these monks in these deep dark woods."
She continued further, "Look at your brothers' condition. Your ever enthusiastic fun-loving brother Bheem, for whom multiple delicious dishes were being cooked by the royal chefs is now surviving on these roots and fruits of the forest. Your ever charming brother Arjun, who always remained optimistic, has lost all his charms, and remains lost all the time. Your most handsome brother, who smelt heavenly, due to usage of sandal paste, now remains smeared with mud and dirt. Your knowledgeable brother Sahadev, who always remained engaged in studies, is now undertaking mundane jobs like collecting fire wood and dry grass."
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I raised my eyes shamefully and found expressions of dejection on my brothers' faces. Immediately, I lowered my eyelids and realized that whatever she was telling was right. My mighty brothers, for whom nothing was unachievable, were suffering with me in these woods. And none other than me, was responsible for their condition.
She continued, but this time with a hint of aggression and taunt in her voice, "These powerful brothers of yours are capable of avenging their plight, but they are mum, just because of the promise you gave before the beginning of the second game at the Dyut Sabha. But you seem to be living quite peacefully. Don't you get furious even after evidencing their miserable condition? I, celestially born Draupadi, daughter of King Drupad, wife of the famous Pandavas, empress of Indraprastha, humiliated, worser than even an animal, at my own in-law's house. Look at my hands and feet, which used to remain decorated with altah always, are now wounded by the thorns of these forest. Why don't I see the fury in your eyes to avenge the insults and sufferings faced by me?"
