Red Flag

8. Busted

I was in the throes of orgasmic bliss, my hips bucking, my eyes clenched tight, and my deep-throated moans filling the cabin, when a voice broke my spell, "I would love to have done that for you, Kate."

"Oh, God!" I snapped my eyes open and looked up at Lorne, feeling my face flush. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to hear that it was about me." He knelt between my spread legs and leaned up my front to brush my lips with his. "Will you allow me to help you the next time?"

I reached up and wove my fingers through his hair, parting my lips and pulling him in for a kiss. He hesitated, his mouth remaining closed as if unsure, before I worked my tongue in, and we began gently exploring.

A tenderly passionate while later, when our lips parted, he murmured, "Should I assume that means yes?"

"Yes! Oh, God, yes. Been one of my fantasies since –" I paused, feeling my face warn again, then shrugging, I continued, "Since I discovered diddling."

Lorne renewed the kiss – soft, gentle, and this time, showing more confidence, causing me to press my mound against him and slowly grind. As I moaned, he pulled away and said, "Should eat while it's still hot."

Oh, God! He wants to munch me. Not the best time for his first go, but... "Need to clean up and insert a tampon first. Did you remember them?"

"Ummm, yeah. So many choices on the shelves – so confusing. I got one of each to –"

"One of each?"

"Of the Natracare with pale blue packaging." He picked up a bag from the floor and opened it so I could see in.

"Wow! How many?"

"Eleven." He shrugged. "Wanted to be sure I got the right one."

I rummaged among the packages of tampons, pads and wipes and pulled out a slim box. "This one, Lorne, the super non-applicator."

He stared at my bare crotch and nodded. "Remembered the brand and the pale blue, but distracted by thoughts of your –" He paused, lifted his eyes and blushed. "Next time, I'll know."

Next time? He's also thinking long-term? "Yeah. Easy once you've seen it."

I sat up, then stood, pulled my panties and jeans up, winked at him and nodded toward the master cabin. "I'll go get ready for eating."

"Ummm, yeah, insert –" He blushed and shook his head. "I'll lay the table. You good with serving ourselves from the packages? Or should we be more formal and use platters?"

What? Oh! That was his eating. Damn, where's my mind been? "Straight from the packs, Lorne. I'm famished." In more ways than one, it seems. When will the grieving hit?

Cleaned up and replugged, I returned to the salon to see the coffee table covered with a dozen or so tubs and boxes. Lorne pointed to the couch. "Casual like this, I prefer eating here, rather than at the dining table."

As I settled onto the couch, I examined the spread. "Seems to be a global sampling, Lorne. Samosas, pad Thai, wings, tiddy oggies, souvlaki, ribs, sushi, pizza slices – what's the theme?"

"Confusion. Couldn't decide." He looked into my eyes and shrugged. "You want wine?"

I nodded. And I want you, Lorne. Oh, God! Nathan's barely cold. I should be grieving instead of...

"I've a viognier that should go well with most of it. Could do a malbec as well for the pizza and the ribs."

I nodded again.

"You appear disturbed, Kate. You're safe from them here."

"Ummm. Not that. I should be grieving, not celebrating. Not acting like a wanton harlot."

Lorne reached out, took my hand and caressed it. "It's perfectly normal and acceptable behaviour, Kate."

"What? Why would you think this?"

"New research – well, not that new – published more than a dozen years ago, George Bonanno's The Other Side of Sadness. He's a professor of clinical psychology, and his unrefuted research demonstrates that the absence of grief is a healthy sign, rather than something abhorrent, as had been previously thought."

"Hmmm! How do you know about him?"

"His book was central to the grief-counselling course I took during my postgrad. Healthy response to loss can take many forms besides sadness, including laughter, celebration and bawdiness. Bonanno coined the term coping ugly to describe the idea that some forms of grieving may seem counterintuitive."

"Yeah, like I've questioned mine." I pointed to the food. "We should eat while it's still hot." I thought back to my interpretation of Lorne saying this, and I smiled. Later. Ummm, and often.