The Choppa Effect

Thirty

He never does.

I don't call him either because I don't feel obligated to.

He's the one that left so he can't expect me to call him..

Right?

Right.

The days pass by so quickly and all of a sudden I haven't heard from Tego in two weeks.

I find myself in the living room staring off in the distance while the TV is on as background noise in a terrible attempt to keep my mind at bay.

I have no idea what that man is up to at this point but it literally could be anything from something highly illegal to him just randomly deciding that he needs time away.

"Are you okay?" My mother's voice snaps me back to reality.

He's gone.. What can I do about it?

I nod while looking at my mother but she just sighs.

"What's wrong with you?" She sits beside me and hands me a glass of wine.

I take a sip before answering. "I'll be okay."

"When last have you spoken to Tego?" She asks.

My mada..

Haffi assume seh mi have man problem.

I shrug even though I really wanted to roll my eyes since her assumption is very much correct.

"Why don't you call him?"

I shrug once more. "If he wanted to talk to me then he would."

My mother rolls her eyes. "You guys are so stubborn. I'm not forcing you to do anything though."

We sit in silence but she sighs and turns to me once more. "I know it may seem cool to act like you don't care about someone's feelings but it's not cool to miss out on a good connection because of that."

I nod and finish the rest of my wine. "Mommy, he doesn't seem to want to speak to me."

She cocks an eyebrow at me. "Why do you think that?" She asks.

"He didn't eve say 'bye' to me." I mumble with the rim of the glass resting against my bottom lip.

"Bye? He's gone?"

I nod but she just pushes her eyebrows together. "I'm not in your relationship so I don't have much advice to give you. Just do what you think is the best."

I nod once more.

"And realistically if there's something that needs to be worked on or discussed then you're actually just delaying it." She takes in a deep breath.

"It's like knowing you're sick but you keep delaying the doctor's visit because you want to keep living in denial or drag out the conclusion for as long as possible."

She takes my glass and disappears to the kitchen.

I decide to take out my phone and go to my contacts. I click on Tego's contact to view but I don't call him.

My finger just hovers over the call button beside his name.

I really could call him but for some reason, I just feel like I can't do it.

Realistically if he wanted to call me then he would.

In actuality though, I've been wondering why he hasn't called me and I wanted to call him but I didn't.

My finger moves before my mind can process it but I don't have a problem.

You never know...

He answers on the first ring. "Hi."

A smile unintentionally creeps its way onto my face.

"Hi." I simply breathe into the mic.

"You haven't called me in such a long time."

I push my eyebrows together even though he can't see me.

"You left on short notice- you didn't even say bye." I snap.

"You're right." His voice trails off. "I didn't mean to do that, Jade."

I huff. "That's a lame excuse, Tego."

"It doesn't matter, Jade." He snaps before taking a sigh.

"I didn't mean to snap at you."

His voice is soft.

"Then why did you?" I snap.

I didn't even mean to snap at him.

"I- I don't know, Jade..." His voice trails off. "I'm just trying my best."

I sigh.

"Tego, I can't keep doing this with you."

He stays silent for a minute.

I wonder if he's thinking about how he's treated me.

"What do you mean?" He finally breathes into the phone.

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me. "I mean I don't have the energy to do this back and forth lifestyle with you." I snap.

"I can't keep trying to predetermine your emotions and walking on eggshells because you're always so fucking sensitive."

He stays silent so I continue.

"If you wanna be sassy then get somebody else to do it because it's honestly draining. It's fucking with my mental and I'm not cut out for it."

He still stays silent but this time I stay silent too so the only thing being transmitted is dead air for the next five minutes.

"Are you done?" He finally breathes.

I push my eyebrows together. "Sorry?"

"I'm asking if you're finished. Like did you get everything off your chest?" He clarifies in a soft tone.

I breathe slowly before answering him. "I guess so."

"Good." He says.

"I'm working on it, Jade."

I nod. "Tego, I just don't know how much more of this I can take from you."

"I promise you that I'm working on it." He assures me.

"I appreciate that then."

"Good." He chuckles a bit. "I'm gonna come and pick you up then. Be outside in 20 minutes."