The Choppa Effect

Twenty-Three

I sigh before running my hands over my body while observing myself in the full length mirror in my bedroom.

The dress is a bit short and I know that every step I take is going to make the dress ride up and I'll have to constantly be pulling it down.

I sigh out loud at the thought.

Tego has been consuming my entire mind.

Why does he have to treat me the way he does?

I know I can get on his nerves sometimes but I'm an amazing person to him and I always will be but he doesn't seem to want me in his life anymore.

I sigh again before checking my phone for what feels like the ten millionth time even though as always, there isn't even a single notification from him.

Why do I even bother?

I redirect my attention to my mirror once more.

Maybe I just feel like I don't look good because I don't feel good otherwise.

The person in the mirror looks great but I just can't feel great.

There's simply no way I'm going to leave my house just to bring down Alexia's mood. It would be better if I just stayed home but I know I need the interaction.

I sigh again before glancing at my reflection once more.

I know what I need.

I take up the bottle of white rum on the top of my dresser and take a swig.

Raw...

I wipe the excess from my lips as the familiar warmth begins to take over my entire body.

Once it spreads from my stomach and causes my entire body to feel it, I check my mirror once more.

I look good and I feel good.

Finally.

I grab my bag and place it by my side while taking a few spins to admire every inch of me.

My phone starts ringing and I have no doubt that it's my date because no one else seems to be interested in trying to contact me anymore.

"Jade, I'm leaving my house now so make sure you're ready." She says when I pick up the phone.

"I'm ready. You can pull up."

So said, so done.

Twenty minutes later and I hear the loud beeping of Alexia's horn blowing outside of my house.

I kiss my parents goodbye and reapply my lip gloss before going out to see her.

As soon as I sit in the car, she turns down her music before turning to face me.

"I'm glad you decided to come with me, Jade." Alexia brings me into a hug and places a small kiss against my temple.

"I mean.." My voice trails off before taking a deep sigh. "I'm glad I did too. It'll keep me occupied and what better way to bring in the New Year than with my best friend?" I smile at her.

She returns the smile.

"You look really good too." She says as she relaxes in her seat and brushes her fingertips against her steering wheel.

"Thanks." I feel my cheeks warm as I try to hide the smile that creeps on to my face.

"You too but I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."

She taps her fingertips against her steering wheel while nodding slowly.

"No, I appreciate it. Trust me- I really do. I'm just so nervous about my party that I'm just hoping that tonight helps to calm some of my nerves."

I rest my hand on her shoulder and rub it soothingly.

"It'll be alright, Alexia." I coo. "Your events always go well."

She sighs before answering. "Do you really think so?"

I nod at her hopefully convincingly.

She shrugs with a whine. "That's not very convincing."

I chuckle before continuing to rub her shoulder soothingly. "I'm sorry that it wasn't but I actually meant it. Your events are beyond amazing each and every single time."

She sighs once more before giving me a quick nod and then positioning herself to drive.

The rest of the drive is filled with music in the background as Alexia smokes and although my lungs are filled with the life long effects of her being the reason for my exposure to second hand smoking my mind is also filled with something.

Tego.

Why hasn't he tried to contact me and let me know what's going on?

It feels desperate constantly begging someone to act accordingly.

Mek yuh feel lika bat.

"Jade?" Alexia's voice snaps me back to reality.

She looks concerned.

"You were zoned out but we're here."

My gaze shifts from Alexia to the view outside of her window. We're at the party.

I unintentionally relax my shoulders and Alexia's face twists into obvious confusion.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

I shrug. "Nothing..."

She sighs. "Jade, if you don't want to go out that's fine. I'm good with staying in."

"No." I answer immediately. "I want to see fireworks and listen to music and get under vibes."

She rolls her eyes.

"Girl be real." She sits up properly. "We can watch fireworks and listen to music and get under vibes anywhere. That includes your beach house."

I shake my head before sighing.

Going to the beach house would be putting Alexia out of her way especially since we're already here at a party and that's very unnecessary.

Plus going to the beach house would remind me of Tego.

The way he fucked me on the nearby public beach.

I shake my head once more as a weird attempt of shaking the thoughts from my head.

"You're right." My mouth speaks before my mind gets the chance to process my verbal decision.

Alexia shrugs before starting the car again and drive to the beach house.

My mind wanders and comes back with SZA's voice filling the background consistently which makes the journey feel short.

Once I'm actually inside of the house I greet Pauline, our cleaning lady, before going to storage for our fireworks.

Alexia and Pauline help me to set them up and we get chairs to sit on the lookout.

We also bring out our speaker and an igloo of drinks.

Alexia and Pauline had been in constant conversation since we entered the house so they helped to occupy my mind for a bit but it was still wandering.

Even the countdown feels slow.

Even the fireworks exploded in slow motion.

Happy New Year...