Happy Little Accidents

bubblegum bitch

Brunch with the Dagger Squad and their families was full of love and laughter. Food and drink served buffet style. Some of the guys played cornhole or lawn darts. Payback's triplets and Phoenix's daughter played on the climb-n-play or begged to be pushed on the swings. Everyone else drifted back and forth between the house and the backyard.

Zak had offered to help get the food set out when they arrived, only to be shooed away to find a chair and make herself comfortable. She was technically still on bedrest, Bob insisted. So she settled in a cushioned rocking chair on the back patio and watched in boredom as everyone else got to have their fun. People flitted by and made light conversation before moving onto wherever they'd been headed when they stopped to say hello.

"How ya feeling, Mama Bear?" Penny asked, pulling up a wicker chair to sit beside her.

"A million months pregnant." Zak sighed, "Nine more weeks sounds like eternity."

"Just you wait. They'll go up a diaper size and you'll miss being pregnant just to have a little more time."

"I haven't really hated bein' pregnant. Just the bedrest part. There's so much I feel I still need to get done."

"You'll never be totally ready. There will always be one more thing you could have tried to finish. But as long as you've got diapers, wipes, a comfy bed, and a way to feed your baby..." Penny smiled warmly and squeezed her arm, "That's all you really need. Lenora already organized a meal train and Faye is very excited about your baby shower. I've been told it's space themed. Although I'm not sure I was supposed to tell you that."

"I was kinda hopin' for dinosaurs, but Space Oddity is my favorite David Bowie album. But I also got so many hand-me-downs from my sisters that a whole shower feels a little silly. We already got a stroller and carseat set and an extra base. My dad built us a crib. Really all that's left to do is wait. And you," She turned her attention to her belly, "Better take your time."

"It's okay to let people love on you, Zak. There is no shortage of people who wouldn't drop what they're doing to help you, Bob, and your baby."

"Thanks, Penny."

"You can thank me by letting me be first in line for baby snuggles when you're up to visitors."

"Of course."

Zak looked out over the yard and smiled when she saw Bob chasing around the kids with a super soaker. They all turned on him, tackling him at the knees and soaking his shirt with their squirt guns. It would be a while yet, but she couldn't wait to watch him chase Buddy around their backyard. Go on hikes as a family. Beach days and zoo trips.

When they finally let him up, he came over and gave Zak a sweet kiss.

"Bobby!" She squealed, "You're gettin' me all wet."

"Sorry, darlin'." He chuckled, pecking her cheek, "Y'just look so sweet sittin' in a rocker."

"Go change! You're not allowed to get hypothermia." She swatted him away.

"Yes ma'am."

But he still kissed her again for good measure.

-&-

Right as she finally got settled on the couch, the doorbell rang. Zak stifled a groan. Just loading the dishwasher wiped her out and she'd wanted to rest for a few minutes before moving on to tackling the laundry. The cloth diapers she ordered were in and they needed to go through the wash before she gave birth so at least one could go in her hospital bag.

Which she had packed and repacked more times than she cared to admit.

It took a full minute to get back up off the couch, her uninvited guest ringing the bell twice more while they waited. Heaving a sigh, Zak shuffled (well, at this point it was more of a waddle) over to the door and pulled it open, suddenly grateful the screen door had a lock of its own.

"Can I help you?" She asked, trying not to frown at Bob's sister.

Mal grinned, blood red lips pulled wide to bare her teeth. If she was trying to seem threatening, Zak wasn't impressed. She adjusted her oversized, Gucci sunglasses and introduced herself.

"I'm Mary-Alice Floyd. I'm looking for my brother, Robert. You must be the incubator."

Zak blinked. She'd been called a lot of things in her life - not all of them kind - but that was a new one. And she found she really didn't like it.

"Okay, first of all, rude. You do not get to come to my house and disrespect me. I might be pregnant, but I will lay you out on your skinny, fake orange tan lookin' ass. Second, I'm his fiance. Third, I cannot believe the AUDACITY you have to spew your misogynistic, sexist, anti-feminist rhetoric. I am a whole person and my ability to bear children does not determine my worth. So I'll ask you again. Can I help you?"

"Well," Mal clutched her pearls, "I do hope your bark is worse than your bite. I'm assuming Robert is at work? I need him to watch Daniel and Diana for me for a couple of hours. I suppose you'll do. Though... I'm not sure you could keep up with them."

"I'm not watching your kids and neither is Bob. So if that will be all," Zak moved to close the door.

"Wait!"

"Sorry, don't care."

She closed the door with a satisfying click and slid the bolt into place.

"Was someone at the door?" Bob poked his head in through the back patio door, wiping his hands on his grass-stained jeans. He took off his glasses and wiped the sweat from his face with a cloth he pulled from his back pocket.

"Your sister. She wants us to watch her kids."

"Oh." He put his glasses back on and planted his hands on his hips with a sigh, "I just... I don't think it's a good idea to have them here. I mean, we've been doing so much to clean and get ready for Buddy. And they're..."

"Crayon wielding tornados?" She offered.

"Yeah."

"I already said no."

"Oh thank god."

"We can have her over for dinner. She is your family and I don't not want to get to know her. But she did call me an incubator and I'm not very comfortable with that."

"She called you a what?"

"Please don't make me repeat it. I kinda wanna wash my mouth out with soap."

He nodded and pecked her cheek. He'd have a talk about it with Mal later. For now, he badly needed a shower.

"You sit back down, darlin'." Bob said, "M'gonna have a shower and then I'll start on the laundry."