JJ Maybank x reader | oneshots

Truth or Dare - Part 2

a/n

summary: you talk to JJ and tell him why you stopped being friends with the pogues. (tw: abuse, sexual assault)

word count:1154

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y/n's POV

After far more persuading than would have been necessary, I manage to convince the rest of the pogues that JJ will be safe with me for the rest of the night, and that he'll be returned to their precious chateau safely in the morning.

As we are walking down the beach, I can see him. He looks surprisingly calm. I don't know why I expected him to be nervous, but I did. For some reason, the fact that we haven't spoken for three years doesn't seem to bother him. He's acting as if we just spoke yesterday.

'How are you?' he asks, still acting like we know each other, 'I'm fine,' I reply. I don't really know what to say to that. It's a fairly normal question, but our last conversation was not one where you start the next conversation with, how are you? 'If you're fine then why are you talking to me?' he asked, kindly. Not what I expected at all. More shouting would have been normal. But he's being nice. 'Did I not say it was a dare?' I snap back. Shit. 'Sorry,' I say, 'I don't mean to be rude. It just sort of comes out wrong sometimes,' and I actually mean it, unlike usual. I have to say sorry a lot now, even if I don't mean it. 'It's alright,' still speaking to me with such kindness, I almost wish he could be mean, just so I can hate him, but he isn't. He's lovely. And now I can't be mean without feeling bad. 'But also,' he adds, 'If it was just because of a dare, you would have just come over here and made out with me or something. Not have a, rather poor, may I add, attempt at a conversation with me,' he's right of course. I hate that he is, but he is right, 'I was given the dare,' I explain, 'but I didn't want to do a dare like that with you, without actually talking to you first.' I'm starting to get emotional, but I cover it up by looking out at the sea, 'what made you think I would want to talk to you,' he says, my heart sinks. I knew this would happen, 'I'm sorry-' I start, 'I'm only playing with ya,' he says, laughing at his terrible joke. I really thought he meant it, partly because I expect it, but partly because I hoped that would be what his reaction was so I could just say that I failed my dare and would do a different one because I was not prepared to flirt or make out with JJ, because if I did, I would feel bad for the rest of my life, and I can't do that to myself. 'That wasn't funny,' I say. It really wasn't. Not in the slightest. 'Oh, but it was,' he replies.

JJ's POV

We have been walking for about ten minutes and still I can only focus on two things: how beautiful she looks, and why she ever left me to start with. 'What are you looking at?' she laughs. I must have been staring. 'I'm not looking at anything. Just thinking,' I say, looking up, pretending to think. 'Well, whatever you're thinking about must be interesting,' she says, 'I've never seen you so focused.'

After a while, we sat down by an oak tree. The roots hugged us below. 'Why did you leave?' I ask,

'What?' she replies, 

'You heard me, why did you leave,'

'I thought you knew,'

'No, no one told me anything,' I say, 'they said I wouldn't believe them,'

'Oh,' she looks confused, like I should know, I should have been told, but I wasn't. I got left in the dark like I do for everything.

'Do you remember the thing with Rafe?' she asked me like I should have known. Was I meant to?

'You know, when we met at Sarah's house, and he asked me if I wanted to smoke with him. I was thirteen, it seemed cool so I said yes because Saraha and Kie didn't need me and so I went off with him. No one realized I was gone. But when he took me past his room, I got worried. I said I wanted to go back; he pulled me away. He said we were going to have some fun. I was younger than him obviously. Only a few years though, so I didn't think much of it. I was hanging out with one of the cool older boys, why would I stop? We went and sat in his attic, and he said that I must be freezing, just in a bikini top and shorts, so he gave me his hoodie. We sat and talked for a while. Sarah texted me about half an hour later, so I said I felt ill, and I had left to go home. We stayed up there for ages. After a while, I stopped going over to Sarah's house to see Sarah and Kie, but to see him. We would sit in the attic, or his room, and just talk. Sometimes, we made out as well. It really was just another relationship. But one day, Sarah found out. It would have been fine if it were anyone else, but when she walked in on us hugging, she started screaming at me, I couldn't do anything. Rafe tried to defend me, but nothing worked. She told Kie and I assumed Kie had told you guys. They stopped talking to me at school. I wasn't allowed to see Rafe anymore. I spiraled into depression and had to leave school for a bit. I came back, Sarah forgave me, but I could never go back to you guys. I thought you hated me, so I just stayed away from you. That's why I still hang out with the kooks, and that's why I left. I thought Kie would have told you.'

'I didn't know that I'm so sorry. I could've helped y/n,' I just sit there in shock. Why haven't I been told about this before? I guess Kie figured that I wouldn't want to know because I had a crush on y/n, but I thought she had just abandoned us. 

I look over at y/n and see that she's crying. 'I really liked you JJ. For so long I swear. Then the Rafe thing happened, we stopped seeing each other, and I just had to watch from afar. I realize what I've missed now, but I had to tell you because I couldn't stand to end up being another one of your one-night stands.' I pull her into my arms, she buries her head in my chest, and we just lay like that. We lay like that for hours.

'You could never be just one of my one-night stands y/n. Never. I love you.'