the bad news

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I was taking a shower in an hotel room, today was a pretty rough day... I was showering and cleaning my body... again as always, I felt disgusted of myself...how could I live with being fuck by an old man.... the thing he told me today... was it true..? I was in hot tub and I cut my veins....I relaxed in the tub  and closed my eyes to remember what happened before....
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Some hours before
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-dazai...-
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-what do you need mori?-
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-since when do you talk to me like that darling?-
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-mori, I know you're behind Odasaku's dead...-
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-oh, him? I still didn't know how could you cheat on me with him-
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-what...?-
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-yeah, I was always mad cause you even called him daddy. You never treated me like that, dazai‐
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-really....-
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-yeah, he was interfering us darling,  I couldn't let that happened-
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I losed my mind I jumped over him with a knife that I gotted on my bandages, he stopped me...
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-darling? Come on~ make papa mori happy~-
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-leave me alone!-
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-papa mori is waiting ~ come on~ call me papa or daddy~-
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-no! We're not even blood connected !you're not my dad! He was better than you! He wouldn't touch me like that way you do...- I started moving trying to escape I was about to run away until...he said it..
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-oh dazai~ we're blood...-
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-what...no...thats not true....-
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- indeed...-
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-no...-
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-call me daddy~-
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-y-you're not my dad!-
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-no, but I knew him...he was an idiot...he never wanted to use his ability, when you born I saw your cuteness and beauty-
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-how did you knew him....?-
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-come on, give uncle a kiss dazai~-
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I shocked...I tried to run but my head didn't let me...he did it again.... he touched my body...
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-dazai~ you feel so good ~ thanks God you came to me~ my dear pet~-
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I was crying at this point I was choking with my own tears.. how am I this dumb...? When he done, I run away with just a long shirt on my body I rented a room in a hotel and entered...this is how I came to this point...am I dying..? Is this what feels so calm...I love it...thanks dear father....
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I woke up... someone saved me...I wish mori didn't saved me..
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-ms?-
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-oh, uhmm hi..you woke up..why did you did that kid?-
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-sorry but, who brought me here? -
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-the hotel owner-
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-i see...-
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-oh, your family came for you let me go for him-
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I looked pretty exhausted, I can't believe I'm going back to them...I just wanted to die...ugh! I wanna go...
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-hi again! -
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-oh, hi Ms...-
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-please don't do that again...oh, I got your family member-
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-who?-
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-hi dazai, do you remember me? I'm uncle fukuzawa-
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-so mr dazai, do you know him?-
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-i think...may I talk to him in private? -
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-sure-
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-so, who are you and what do you want? -
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-oh, jeje, nothing less expected from the youngest executive of the port mafia, but well, I'm Yukichi fukuzawa, the leader of the detective agency-
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-....I see....and what do you want from me? -
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-to join the ADA, so?-
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-so what?-
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-will you join? I know you don't like Mori, and I know you don't want to be alone, you'll be with a partner-
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-will you join dazai? You can be a new person, I'll pay you a department-
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I dont think that I should be doing that but, it's the best thing....I might be happy again....I want to be happy with you papa...-
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-i....i.......I acept....I wanna be good...-
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-okay then...come let's go-

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