The best aot fanfic ever

Chapter 6: Snip Nip

I wake up in an alley with puke on my shirt and erect nipples. I forgot where I am. Then it all comes back to me.

~Flashback~

"Eren the Wiggles are gonna get us!" I yell. Eren was about to say something back but a bird crapped on his face. I laughed at him until he threw up all over my shirt. I felt my nipples harden. Eren shot the bird that took a shit on him and started to eat it.

"Want some?" he asked.

"Sure" I replied. After we ate the bird we went to an alley and I sucked his titan. His semen tasted like apple sauce. Then we started dancing to the sound of a person being raped behind a garbage can a few feet away from us. I then passed out.

~End of flashback~

I slowly got up and looked around for Eren. I spotted him. He was still passed out. A dirty homeless man was penatrating his asshole. I walked over to the rapist hobo a stabbed him with my razor sharp nipples.

"Eren wake up" I say shaking him. He grunts and his eyes open.

"Where are we? What happened? Why does my ass hurt? Why is there bird crap on my face?" he asks.

"We jacked this carriage and rode and got high with a bunch of strangers and shot a bunch of people. Then a bird crapped on your face and you threw up all over me. We went into the alley were in now and I gave you a bj and we danced and passed out. Then a hobo raped you while you were passed out." I explain. 

"We should go home" he says. He then transforms into a titan and puts me on his back. He runs through the streets stepping on people and destroying everything. He then stops and takes a huge titan dump on an orphanage.

"I love you so much" I say. The perfect end to a perfect day.