"S-senpai," Romney-san whimpered.
He sat alone in his dark room, with no one but his stuffed elephant, who he named Trunk-chan, for company. Tears strolled down his face like soldiers who were marching and their destination was Romney-san's chin.
"I was in love too once," said a voice that Romney heard inside his head.
"God?"
"No, I am William Jennings Bryan."
"But, you can't be, aren't you dead?"
"Technically, yes, but all of us presidential also-rans are connected. That is why I can speak to you now."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"That is correct"
There was a long pause.
"So, What were you saying again, about being in love?" Romney-san finally asked.
"This true I was in love once." William smiled but you wouldn't be able to tell because he was in Romney-san's head, "it wasn't a women, but I was in love none the less."
"Was it a man?"
"No. That would be really gay, no, my love was an idea. FREE SILVER!"
"What happened to your love?"
"Well my love died along with my presidency chances. Hence me being here. But you know what, I never stopped fighting for my love, and you shouldn't either!"
Romney-san's eyes brightened, "You're right William Jennings Bryan! I need to try my best and then senpai will notice me!" Romney-san suddenly looked more cynical, "I'm guessing you didn't just come here to cheer me up.""You got me," WJB said, "now that you're in a better mood would like to tell you why the gold standard is the devil's standard. You know the government is trying to crucify us on a cross of gold..."
William Jennings Bryan would not relent in trying to destroy the gold standard. The once helpful voice in his headband quickly become quite an annoyance.
Romney-san screamed as he couldn't get the voice out of his head.
...
Putin and Obama were lying on top of the dinner table. Obama slowly stroked Putin's bare chest while Putin lit a cigarette. "That was some exceptional diplomacy Mr. President," Putin said.
"You are, uhh, quite a compelling negotiator," Obama responded in a responding way.
The two leaders laid their like two Pizza Hut pizza's that were freshly made by Silver the Hedgehog. Neither wanted to move from the very comfortable position they found themselves in. Obama would have laid their all night if he could, but there were certain matters to discuss.
"I'm afraid there is a major problem in America right now," Obama said, "George Zimmerman and Comcast are growing in power."
"Comcast," Putin's face turned a darker shade of serious, "so it's finally awakened. If this information is correct then we need to act quickly. If Comcast regains its full strength, I doubt our nation's will be able to contain it this time."
"I'm, uhh, trying to nip this problem in the bud, but if my plan doesn't work..."
"You better hope that it does."
