After his bowling buddies left, Obama started thinking about what Jefferson told him. He wasn't friends with many Republicans. For a situation like this, there was only one person he could trust.
"You want me to tell congress that Comcast has been violating anti-monopoly laws?"
"Uhh, Yes. You are the one person I can trust."
"But I sell propane and propane accessories, not congressional proposals and congressional proposal accessories."
"But Hank, this is important. The fate of humanity rests in your hands."
"Don't do it Hank," whispered Dale, "humanity doesn't deserve your salvation."
"Dang it Dale, why are you listening to my private phone calls?"
"Who are you talking too? My name is Rusty Shackleford."
"Hank, uhh, what is going on?" Obama inquired inquieringly.
"Ill cal you back."
Obama put down his Obama-phone. Obama sighed and stared longingly at the house plant that sat directly to his right. This was a very important house plant. If only you knew the stories this plant could tell...
After a few minutes of sitting in absolute silence (save for the sound of several thousand tanks being moved into position) the Obama-phone rang again.
"I have restrained Da- err Rusty. Sorry about that." Hank Hill stated.
"That's, uhh, quite alright." Obama was the President, "so have you considered my offer? I could pay you handsomely."
"Ill do it, under one condition," Hank said, "you need to let me mow the Whitehouse lawn."
"Really? That's, uhh terrific! I'll send my private helicopters to fly you over here next Monday. On Tuesday we shall destroy Comcast."
...
It was now the next morning. Obama hated Monday's because that meant the weekend was over and he had to go back to work. Obama went through his usual morning routine which included, but is not limited to, getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing his teeth, putting his clothes on, taking a selfie, applying filter to said selfie, posting the selfie on instagram (#nofilter), crying because he knows there is nothing he can do to stop the inevitability of death, eating a well balance breakfast, and sacrificing his best livestock to the Sun god Ra. These were all normal routines.
Today like every other day, Obama started his work by addressing the people. He had prepared a speech, which was the same speech he had been using since his reelection in 2012. This speech was to remind people to purchase healthcare from . So far 26 people are enrolled in Obamacare, and today Obama hopes it will Increase to 27.
"And remember," *clapping* "buy Obamacare," *clapping* "because Obama" *clapping* "cares," he concluded. He had planned the speech to be only thirty minutes long, but the clapping made it run seven hours late.
Later Obama checked the healthcare website and was pleased to find that there were now 27 people enrolled. "Who could this 27th person be?" Obama wondered, like the Greek philosopher Play-Doh wondering how mirrors could be real if our eyes aren't real. He checked the profile.
It was George Zimmerman.
