AMAL: hope

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

       * Be so close to your lord that they have to go to him to find you.*

AMAL

   My breakfast ended without Huzaifa sparing me a glance and Hafiz making me laugh that I began to feel free with him. One thing I discovered about him is that behind his smile, he's a man hidden behind heavy layer of sadness. He kept talking about his daughter. How nice she is. How she spent her thirteen years birthday on the hospital bed. He told me about his patients, the rude ones, the nice ones, the karens and everything. He even suggested I visit his daughter. By Allah the man is so nice that I know I am married but wallahi he's seems to be the right choice for a good lady. No wonder Hamida will go any length just to be with him even killing her own blood twin.

  I shudder in fear of the thoughts on what's brewing on her mind right now about me. Huzaifa's whole attention is on his phone typing, not sparing a single glance at me but only a fool will think that he isn't listening to our conversations. I couldn't be anymore glad he wasn't looking at me cause as my discussion with Hafiz continues, I even forgot Huzaifa was sitting right next to him, I even forgot about the aquarium walls, I forgot about the green sceneries, I forgot about the people around me and flowed into the conversation.

   I learnt he has three sisters and three brothers. Hanan, Fauziyya and Maryam are the sisters while Zakir, Zahir and Zaid are the boys and surprisingly triplets. I couldn't help but notice on familiar name Maryam Sifawa. A name I couldn't forget and thinking about that incident triggered me into a memory I never want to dive into. I just didn't want to remember whatever happened then but they all came flooding into me, breaking through the resisting barrier and shattering the void, as it came in flooding in slowly, making me remise everything that happened that particular year. I close my eyes shut wishing to forget every incident, every obstacle that brought me to where I am now. My grip on my milk-chocolate drink tighten slowly that I felt if I applied more force I might end up shattering the glass cup. Headache came rushing in like a tornado starting from the northern desert. The images, the torture, the screams, the pleads, their laughter came in front of me like it was replaying before me like a recording compact disc of an old asian dynasty. Torture after torture, images after images, screams after screams, pleads after plead, horror after horror, I remembered everything like a bollywood scene is played before me. Like a recorder is playing before me. My head started banging like the bangtang. Migraine settling in. I am already seeing everything in twos and I know it won't be long before I fall. I felt a hand squeeze mine on the table gently.

   " Breathe Amal, breathe." His voice trying to bring me to the present. His fingers drawing circles on my palm, trying to calm me of a persistent that this is not real, that this is just a passing cloud and will come to an end without me getting shattered. I am finally able to open my eyes but my breathings are becoming irregular. I could see him watching me gently and I started following the rhythm of his breathe. I took in air and exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. So I continued following his chest pattern as it heave up and down continuously in a regular heartbeat pattern, till when my breathe started moving in it's regular pattern. I opened my eyes to meet two pairs of eyes watching me closely. One who the owner is Huzaifa. He had kept his laptop aside and focused on me. Clearly displayed in his eyes are undisguised irritation and hatred with a little hint of mockery. The heaven isn't smiling at me this time.

I found it so embarrassing that I lowered my head as a glint of shame reflected upon my eyes.

   " Am sorry just remembered what I wasn't supposed to remember. Am fine." I said fearing Huzaifa's outburst which came after two seconds as he never disappoint in showing our his vile traits.