Confessions of a autosexual ✔️

33 years and bam ( last year)

It took two years but I finally found out the reason why I didn't like online dating or the fact that people would try to flirt with me or other stuff I actually was an auto romantic or auto sexual wanna go to same damn thing. I wasn't lesbian bi or pan or whatever else there is I was auto romantic. How did I find out was that I ended up liking the feel of my own body as I crashed my own breasts and suck on them as well as my womanhood. I was able to feel sensations that I thought I would only feel with another person but turned out that I was just myself that was the case so I try to test a test myself or at least my reflection in the mirror and I it did me in right away. That was the first case for kiss us shit about. So I still wanted to kiss myself only deeper if I can but I did and I felt much better about myself and then I started to do pleasure myself again feeling my breasts and pleasuring my womanhood teasing myself as well. I just said I was going to be autoromantic.
The only bastard thing was that it was six in the morning when I realized I was auto and when I mean I don't mean automobile. I mean self-love and it's a form of an orientation similar to LGBTQ if not it is LGBTQ. So I had to wake my mama at six in the morning to tell her that I was Naruto romantic that I was in love with myself to begin with. That I wasn't selfish or mean or anything that it was just the way I was made just like the chats Nana and me and the other stuff that was it came naturally to me because it came naturally to me that I enjoyed the feel of my own body exploring my own body and enjoying the feel of myself as well I'm sorry if this is too much information for you. I couldn't help but look at my chest my breasts and wanna play with my boobs every time I look at them or get horny as I looked at them. But that's what it was I am not having fantasies of myself cloning myself and having sex with my clown it was a pretty Weird to others but to me it was normal and only that normal I was just a human being. Many people think that all auto romance or auto sexuality is just another form of mental illness I narcissism or stuff but what I'm right why I'm writing this book is because I am saying that they complete opposite it's just a deeper version and self-love. That's what it is lol that's all it is but just directed towards yourself you can still care about other people and have empathy for others but you just happen to be attracted to yourself that's about the size of it and who you are is what makes you or breaks you and to me I just thought it was gonna make me who I am today. It was a few days ago when I found out that I loved myself in a very romantic way and in a very sexual way as well.
That is why I don't put up with a different phobias like transphobia or homophobia or autophobia if there is autophobia because there's no point in dealing with that kind of shit when they're people like me who are Nardo are just human beings with opposable thumbs and emotions I'll tell you one thing is that I still have PTSD even though I overcame it I still have my emotions and I still have my opposable thumbs it doesn't make me any fucking different than you. It just means I am no different from you except that I am attracted to myself and dating myself it was pretty soon when I started doing surveys for IMVU credits that I ended up saying that I was married for the first time in my life I never thought I'd see the fucking day of that when it finally happened. I would say I would be married to myself as it is and that I am who I am and if you don't like it you can go fly a kite or fuck yourself. Because I am not going to take autophobia very kindly. We're just humans our erotica is more different our romance stories are a little different but that's about the size of it and that's the end of it.
I was raised on the concept of either love or acceptance I was not raised in a hateful environment as I was taken around the world by my parents on vacations and I have been spoiled rotten and I also haven't taught that racism and hate do not mix with human race. There's only one race iPhone and only one collar and that is human and if there's any other different colours or just a rainbow that's about it. We're not anything different from anyone else we might be different genetically but we're not different than the next person by the end of the day. And that's why I was telling you about my life and stuff so that's why I was and I'm very passionate about that because I am very important it's very important that you be who you are and be yourself fuck society and non-conforming is the better option than ending up in the morgue trying to fit in with society and I'm not exaggerating as when I was a little kid I saw what the cost of feeling and what is going to do to people. I remember watching it with a whole bunch of other girls who are coddled into a room and was forced to watch a nine hour Autopsy video of a anorexic and bulimic make woman and it was very disturbing for me and I said there is no way on gods green earth am I going to go blonde hair blue eyes big boobs and a big ass in small ways there was no way on gods green earth I was going to be tattooed and pierced the weather everyone else like it or not I didn't give a shit I was going to go about my own way and live. That is about the final straw that I had and I told my mother about that and I told her that I was really angry and that I wasn't going to fit in I told her actually that day to go fuck her self. When she said why don't you try to fit in like as if she didn't get the goddamn message.
And a little shithead that brought in the autopsy video of the anorexic bulimic woman was non A really spoiled brat named Miss black who is nothing more than a pain in my ass to begin with I am sorry to say that but he was making fun of me because I was interested in forensic pathology and I was interested in The X-Files. Even though I was disturbed by that his stupid retarded video where a girl would mean to disturb by an autopsy video anyway of anorexic or bulimic woman.
To me I find it sitting in an hour trying to be straight or trying to be in a label is dress is the deadly and is trying to shoot yourself in the head there's no point in doing it Because we all end up in the morning if we try to either dresser certain way or act a certain way or even as much as kill ourselves it's no different is a slow version of suicide slower version of shooting yourself in the head why do you want to do that to your own self I cannot imagine these girls are still conformist or cookie-cutter and it drives me completely bonkers. I do not like normal looking people I find those are the ones that are going to die earliest because of the way they act and the way they live in the stuff it is just horrible. So I ended up one day when I was on my 32nd birthday I ended up getting a professional piercing kit from Amazon and I actually decided I was going to say fuck you to society by piercing my septum and my lips. Everything was going well until I ended up trying to do a medusa and that flew out the window. But I still try to find ways of expressing my uniqueness ans I end up getting a tattoo of a water molecule where is swearing. I called Spanky the swearing water molecule something that is very original and very unique I'm trying to find other unique items for tattoos as well that represent who I am and who I am to begin with so that being said I'm still tattoo hunting for things that remind me of me as a person not as a life but as a person. If I can find anything that is unique or weird or psychedelic it'll end up on my skin. No offence but that's basically how I go and I'll have my piercings done professionally from now on as well I had my tattoo done professionally and I am very proud of my Spanky the swearing water molecule is something that no one else will ever find on someone.
I think it's more important that you try to express yourself as who the fuck you are instead of trying to be fucking Britney Spears and I had up in the morgue i find.
I am probably the only person on this planet other than other auto Romantics an auto South Shoals and actually like their own body and soul the normal people do not like their own soul or their own body and I can't I guess my gold. It's like they say that auto sexuality and auto romanticism is a form of mental illness one really it's just you being you is it really worth being called mentally ill no it's just being you. Then I must've been mentally ill when I got a tattoo of those swearing water molecule because that's just me being me. You are you still get called the R word retard and the other word Natalie oh yes I do get a call dad from time to time and I do confront the person who calls me the stupid names and tell and I tell them that I'm just gonna get a fucking human being for fucks sake and that they're the one that's actually mentally ill because they're the one that's cookie cutter. And I'm pretty sure these people that do this to me calling or two other auto Romantics are actually pretty much this suicidal and depressed about themselves and don't really care about how they make other people feel just as long as they feel better than the average person.
I didn't know why people were calling me or word or other retarded names like spaz out and other derogatory words but they were but now I know why and I don't really give a shit just as long as I enjoy who I am and enjoy myself I'm fine literally that's what my goal in life is to do is to express and love myself. I am not wanting to go online dating or dating or do anything that's normal whatever the fuck is normal anyway I go within the law and I stay within the law and that's what should matter the most not trying to be like a fucking celebrity who is going to kill her self anyway. And that is the truth Britney Spears is slowly dying of either an anorexia or a boulimia or some other eating disorder that I'm not even gonna bother with her because I find it karma is going to get her one day for inspiring a bunch of other anorexics and bulimics as well as little slots that go around saying their versions were on there or not. So I will tell you what I've done in the next chapter.