Oh! Darling

Chapter 19

Marcia's POV

I sat in the living room with my guitar. I was home alone so I sang as loud as I could. I was writing a song, it was the most I've done in weeks. But I needed to write 

It was gonna be an important song, about my own patience. My hatred. My love. And my heartbreak. I was focused, it started soft and became more powerful as I went one. I poured out my emotion. All into my words, translated by my fingers, and perfected by my guitar. 

I stopped abruptly. And rubbed my face. I felt a wave of emotion run over me, and I felt so undetermined all of a sudden. That I didn't know what to do. 

"Who the hell am I?" I asked myself 

I closed my eyes. Memories flooded back. Like a storm inside my head. Along with negative thoughts. 

I wished I was good enough. 

I wished I was special. 

I wished I was loved. 

I wished I wasn't so passive.

As I keep my mind busy with thoughts. The doorbell rang. I collected myself and placed my guitar on the couch then walked over to the door. Opening it while rubbing my red eyes, I didn't care if whoever it was saw me in my worst state. Though this person, had seen it already. 

"John?" I whispered 

"I need to talk to you" John said 

"Come inside then." I let him in and walked over to the couch. 

"You don't look the best" John stated 

"I'm dehydrated" I shrugged 

"And skinnier, paler, roughed up, the biggest thing on your body is the baby" John said 

"I know" I rolled my eyes 

"You're looking after two lives, don't ruin one while your ruining your other" John spoke 

"What do you want John?" I spat 

"I need to talk to you" John said sitting down next to me 

"About?" I asked, John examined my face with his eyes and I followed his eyes with mine 

"Listen, I know you've given me chance after chance and I probably don't deserve another one but we're married now, and we have a baby one the way. I need you Marcia, hitting you was the biggest mistake of my life" John explained 

"How am I supposed to trust you with our child of you can barely contain yourself around me?" I asked crossing my arms

"You can, I've had a long time to think and I promise you that I'll be better" John spoke 

"But the thing is that you don't know what hell you've put me though, that I've just ignored. To know you may not have a faithful relationship but forgive and forget it all" I glared at John who rubbed his face 

"I do love you, more then anything in the world. I'm just a fuck up, I've never had a good life and it's hard to show this type of compassion with what I've made myself into" John explained 

"I know you have, but everyone has me questioning this" I rubbed my eyes and John took my hands 

"It's a bittersweet thing, I know" John sighed 

"Beginning sweetness never stays" I sighed 

"That's why I need you, we've lasted long enough, so why can't we go longer?" John asked

"Because we're faced with some type of bittersweet tragedy. I can't handle it" I stressed 

"Just trust me with this" John said "come home, keep the family alive, keep me alive" 

"John" I said softly 

"Marcia please" John squeezed my hand and I sighed

I looked at John with my dry eyes, he looked back with glossy ones. As horrible as I thought I was, he still wanted me. And the fact being, I wanted him too. I moved closer and cupped John's face with my hand, kissing him softly. He kissed back eagerly, and placed one hand on my waist and another on my stomach. 

I was ready to go home. 

Written by Hannah