Zenori: Apart Yet Not Far...

Possession

⚡ Zenubasa POV

"I miss you my friend, I miss you, are you still looking for me? I need to know if I'll really get to see you Usamaka. The parasite killed you but I know you're still here, just looking for me. I can't say I love you anymore though 😿, because I 💖 my soulmate." Is he...talking about me? He says he loves his soulmate...he loves me. THANK THE FUCKING GODS!

He'll always love me, like Rajakisho said, Zenusaki passed away when he was about 7 years old, they were children. He didn't need a replacement, he just needed someone to step in and show him the amount of love he deserves. He needed someone to continue what Zenusaki was doing. And apparently he was really good at it...

"Do you know the name of your soulmate?" I texted back, "I can't remember his name, but I'll keep every single love letter close to my heart every day." There's fireworks going off inside of me right now. He remembers the letter from me, "I love you Kuro-kun..💌💌💌" I texted him, I love you so much. "If you're my soulmate then I love you too...so can you please help me." He texted back. "What's wrong my sunflower?" I texted to him...no response.

What the? Why did he stop texting me? He sounded frightened...I hope he's ok. He remembers my letters, that's good. Whatever is going on with him is messing with his memories. He's confusing me with Zenusaki, even though I'm about to go through a procedure to merge our memories in a few hours. I will be whatever he wants me to be.

And if it means forgetting those years of pure hell then I don't mind it. I'm crazy for this man, I'm possessive and I try my best to not show it...as it scares my beloved Kuroja sometimes. Because it goes back to when I locked him inside my old house for 5 months...he was scared, walking on eggshells to make sure not to piss me off. I'm keeping my promise to never hurt him or do something so fucked up.

"You scare me...especially when you're angry." I see it on my phone. I can't believe he still called me his soulmate. "Tell me, who do you think I am?" I texted him. "Aren't I talking to the man that's looking for me? My Usamaka?" He replied, he thinks I'm Zenusaki....why does he love him so fucking much!? Why does he believe that Zenusaki is looking for him instead of me!? "I'm trying not to lose my mind, but it hurts and upsets me to know that you love someone else...I thought I was your soulmate.💌"

"Soulmate...that's right my soulmate sings me to sleep to avoid the nightmares..right?" He texted me, he remembers that? I haven't done that in years now, why did I stop? I breathe a little, "You were so happy and calm, to see you sleeping so peacefully always let me know that tomorrow is going to be beautiful. Just like you my beloved sunflower." I replied back to him.

"If you're my soulmate, can you please help me with something?" He asked, the same question as before. "I'll do anything for you. What's wrong?" I texted back, I then waited for a response. "There's so many voices...they won't stop. I don't think I have many more days...so please find me so I can get better." I read that multiple times, so just like me, he had a voice talking to him in his head.

"Of course my love. Just remind yourself that you are the most perfect person to know, beautiful and sweet. I'll be there soon, wherever you are.💌" I texted him back, I have to make sure he's going to be okay. "Please look for me Usamaka..wherever you are.💖" He replied back to me..his mind must be on a thin rope. I go outside to see his art set in the backyard, I always joked about how I liked an audience. Maybe I shouldn't be so...open about our intimacy, pushing past his comfort zone.

"I've always hated you, but it's hard to stop loving you." He texted me...he..hates me? "Why can't you be the one that I met so long ago, why can't I get my Usamaka. You used to be so much...happier. I don't like it when you're scary. Everything you've put me through, I'm fucked up and crazy all because of you. Like I said, I've always hated you." He continues, sounding really upset. That hurts...he's right though, it's my fault.

I have terrified and traumatized him to the point he doesn't truly believe that I have completely changed my ways. He wants me to be like Zenusaki so bad, that way I don't have any flaws. "I'm sorry, I'm a disappointment. I love you Kuroja Yasume, I had a feeling that you hated me. I've put you through so much, you deserve better." I texted back, no response. He tried to love me in full, but he can't seem to do so.

I feel a buzz, I look to see his text, "I can't stop loving you. Please look for me...Bun Bun or whoever you are.💖" He's trying to remember me, his head just keeps on mixing us up. Should I really follow through with the procedure? "Do you want me as I am...or you hate me so much you wish I was your first love." I texted back. "I want you. I want my soulmate. I want whoever made me feel so special." He responded back to me, I make him feel special? I guess it's better to not merge our memories. It'll probably confuse him or have him worried and sad for me.

No matter if I scare him or I make him angry, he can't seem to find a reason for the feeling of hatred to overcome him. He hates me but his love for me is stronger than that. I looked at the painting..it's beautiful. His love for me is stronger than his hatred, that makes me happy. To know that he loves me and thinks about me.

It's been a few days now...I hope that once I do find him I can help him remember me. As it also seems like the children aren't his main focus. Every night has been a living hell, I wished once I fell asleep to see my beautiful family in the morning. I want to wake up with my Kuroja snuggled up close to me not wanting for the peaceful bright morning to end. He opens his bright and big ocean eyes, looking up at me and blessing me with that beautiful smile that I love.

I crave him every single night....I need him here every single day.