Unconditional Feelings (Heesun)

9

Sunoo wandered the long, narrow hallways of the school as he peered around the different classes. His classes were over, and most of the students were at lunch with their friends, talking and sharing memories with one another.

Sunoo hoped for these unnecessary wishes, he thought it was quite exaggerating, how he wanted to go to birthday parties, laugh with his friends, go to an amusement park–and most of all, find someone to love with his broken heart. He wanted someone to mend his heart together, though Sunoo had always smiled even through heart-breaking situations, he wanted to feel how love actually felt–instead of plastering a fake and cracked smile, he wanted to smile genuinely, he wanted someone to admire him the way he would admire them. He knew he was asking for too much, but it doesn't hurt to imagine the unrequited wishes.

He stopped in front of the cafeteria door, contemplating whether or not to eat. He peeked through the slit opening of the door. He saw students conversing with one another, some couples, and him.

Heeseung was on his phone, ignoring the presence of his friends, who seemed to have been wheezing over something Sunghoon was displaying on his phone. Jungwon was holding his tummy while using his other hand to bang on the table. Sunghoon was snickering while looking down and the others were just laughing along, not just as crazily as the two.

Sunoo was about to turn on his heels and trudge away, but a familiar someone stopped him from doing so. 'Riki? What's he doing over there?' Sunoo's eyes widened at the latter, who was walking toward Heeseung's table, situating himself between Jungwon and Jake. 'He knows them...?' Sunoo was left agape, still in the process of rethinking everything. ' So, he's friends with Heeseung? But, why'd he stand up for me then?' Sunoo tilted his head, fiddling with his fingers. He released a breathy sigh and turned around to leave, not wanting to feel his heart tightening. 'He's probably the same–probably wanted to play with my feelings again.'

✿

He stared at the clock, which was hanging right above the board in the classroom. 'Just 5 more minutes, c'mon, c'mon!' Sunoo clenched his fists together, puffing his cheeks while glaring at the clock in front of the classroom.

The bell had finally rung. Sunoo bolted up along with the other students, who were also eager to leave this hellhole. He swung his bag over his shoulder and paced out of the classroom. He strides the hallways, in hopes of avoiding someone, just like last time. This time though, he made sure to check his surroundings.

"Yes! I didn't run into him today," Sunoo jumped in relief. "He's probably going to be with the boys today, so it's best not to take the left alleyway today." Sunoo pulled out his cell phone and opened the GPS app on his phone since he didn't know the other way around. Since he didn't have his headphones, he decided not to enable the systematic voice of the AI of the app. Instead, he muted the voice and headed in that direction.

一一一

Riki waved at Jungwon and pulled his cell phone out to message a certain someone. Then his stupid ass realized that Sunoo hadn't called him, which meant that he didn't have Sunoo's number saved on his phone. He smacked his forehead and frowned. " I wanted to walk with him today..." He mumbled while placing the phone back in his pocket.

He was about to start walking but then he immediately halted. 'Sunoo!' It felt as if god had finally decided to pay attention to him.

"Sunoo-ssi!" Riki screamed, running toward him. Sunoo turned around and faced Riki, who was pacing toward him. Sunoo tilted his head in confusion while gazing at the boy in front of him. Riki stopped, and was inches away from Sunoo, slightly smiling at the older. "I was looking for you–you know it's my first day of school basically, and you were the only first friend I have made in this school." Riki chuckled and backed away, pondering upon the distance between the two.

Sunoo could only stare at the latter. 'Is he being nice to me right now just to call me a faggot later on?' Sunoo cleared his throat when he realized he was staring for way too long. He released a small sigh as plastered his fake, ingenuous smile. "Hey, I was walking home! Anything you need?" He figured he wanted to ask him for a favor maybe.

"I wanted to walk with you!" Riki beamed with happiness filtered in his voice. Sunoo was left stunned. 'He wants to walk...with me? Why?' Sunoo furrowed his eyebrows, contemplating his decisions. "Uhh, sure! If you say so!" Sunoo looked away to hide his terrified expression. 'What if he starts stalking me, and then later tells Heeseung about my house–and then–I DIE?!' Sunoo shuddered at the thought and lightly coughed, glancing back at the eager and beaming Ni-ki. He started walking, not sparing a glance at the younger.

"Sunoo-ssi, I couldn't get your number–I mean I did, but I gave you mines...could you perhaps call me so I can save it?" Riki stumbled upon his words, hoping for a nod from the older. "Sure, of course!" Sunoo smiled, yet again, which caused Riki's heart to flip and do the Gangnam dance inside his chest. 'His cheeks are so GAHHHHHHHHHHH! I wanna squish them so badly!' Riki giggled and admired the older, who was busy scrolling through his phone. "There!" Sunoo showed Riki his phone screen which displayed Riki's name and the flower. Just then Riki's phone rang and Sunoo declined the call, glancing at the younger's phone now. Riki saved his number as Sunoo-ssi for now.

"I know it's the first day, and umm, we barely know each other, but I wanted to get to know you more." Riki hesitantly spoke up, in an attempt to ease the awkward tension between the two. The wind wasn't as chilly as the days before, but it still had the cold breeze flowing through. Sunoo's dark brown hair fluttered, making the older boy look ethereal.

"I want to get to know you more, Riki," Sunoo mumbled, with a bit of fear in his tone, which Riki couldn't point out. "It's just that, I don't really know how to make friends." Sunoo awkwardly chuckled and glanced at the taller. Riki was admiring Sunoo, not forgetting to perceive each and every single detail. "Same...the only friends I have right now are Jungwon and Jake. I feel kinda close to them compared to the rest of the group–and the thing is, Jungwon never told me he was friends with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. It was my first time meeting the rest other than Jungwon and Jake." Riki gazed at the sky, which was painted with the light color of orange-pink, giving the shade of the sunset.

"Ah, I see...so you're not friends with Heeseung?" Sunoo asked with a hint of curiosity. "No, I don't like him, actually. I would wanna get to know him better–he might be quite different compared to other's perspectives, but so far he didn't really perceive my presence."

Sunoo nodded in response, and eventually, both of them started having a decent conversation. Sunoo felt more at ease after what Riki had said.

'I think I might have misjudged him. He's really amazing.'