Unconditional Feelings (Heesun)

15

Sunoo was puzzled. Everything seemed like a faint haze to him; he had never felt this way before for someone–-especially not him. So why? Why is he eager to see him? To hold him–to engulf him in another warm, comforting hug? He shook his head in discomfort and buried his petite figure under the warm covers of his sheets. Ruminating over him was pointless, at least from Sunoo's point of view. Why even bother at this point? He wanted nothing with him. 'He must loathe me so much that he probably wants me dead. Right?'

Sunoo frustratedly heaved a sigh and kicked the blanket off him. His face was covered with droplets of sweat due to the flaming heat emitting from the soft fur of the sky-blue blanket. He lay flat on his warm sheets and blankly stared at the white ceiling. 'What does he mean by that..?' He clutched the hem of his shirt and blinked monotonously. He sighed and sat up, glancing around the dark room, he perceived nothing but loud silence. 'Do they even care about me?' Sunoo felt his eyes watering, so he shook his head, disgruntled, and ignored his inner feelings. The flash of the events during detention enveloped Sunoo's mind.

Flashback

The loud bell rang, alarming the students who waited patiently to run out of hell. Everyone scurried outside the classroom, not paying attention to the teacher who seemed hesitant for some reason. "Ah, Sunoo, don't you have detention after school?" The professor asked while clearing his desk. Sunoo glanced up at the teacher and wearily nodded. "Yeah, I was late for my class today," Sunoo answered in return, grimacing at the thought of dealing with Heeseung in detention. He walked toward the teacher, waved him off, and headed to the detention room which was near the south backdoor of the school. While walking, he pulled out his phone to message the younger boy who also had detention.

His feet abruptly halted when he felt someone's looming presence inching closer to him. He turned around on his heels and felt the rush of anxiety flow through his body. It was Heeseung, trudging lazily toward the detention room, two Airpods plugged in his ears, and the faint booming noise of the music playing. Though according to the school's policy, hoodies weren't part of the dress code but did Heeseung care? No—he absolutely didn't give a shit about any of the school policies and regulations. He had money. Money could buy him anything.

He glanced at the shorter who was panicking, and a snarky smirk plastered upon his lips. He picked his pace and strode toward the shorter, startling the younger. He started backing away, and as if on cue, Riki had arrived. Riki's eyes widened, and his blood boiled.

"Hyung," Riki called out, catching the attention of the males. Heeseung stopped in his tracks and glared at the younger. Riki walked up to Sunoo, gently grabbed his arm, and dragged him inside the detention room.

"Hyung...do something about him! You can't always let him get to you like this!" Riki caressed the older's hand, soothing it gently to calm him. "He just likes to toy with you..." Riki continued, his voice trailing off. To Sunoo, his voice seemed so melodic, so formal yet, somewhat hesitant.

The loud slam of the door startled both, they directed their attention toward the slam and saw Heeseung plodding at the near corner of the class. Throwing his bag on the floor, he plopped himself on the desk and slumped sluggishly.

Sunoo stared at the older, he felt pity for him. He knew he shouldn't, but, the memories of that evening kept flooding back into his head; he couldn't stop thinking about what they both had shared. He heaved a soft sigh and turned his attention away from the latter, now focusing on Riki. "Riki...could I walk alone after detention today? I have to get somewhere." Sunoo said. "Take the bus home today, and don't lurk around in the alleyways, okay?" Sunoo's voice was low, but Riki could clearly hear it.

"Hyung, don't worry, I'll be fine," Ni-ki assured the older and stared at him in awe. Sunoo's eyes held the galactic stars inside them—the entire universe. He felt at ease around his hyung, he was so fond of him, that sometimes he wanted him to be his, and his only.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Is there—there's something on my face?" Sunoo caressed his cheeks in confusion about why the taller was staring at him. "Or, are you planning to kill me?" Sunoo mumbled, folding his arms above his chest.

"Yeah sure, whatever floats your boat I guess." Ni-ki chuckled and averted his gaze from the older. His face felt hot, he knew he was blushing. 'Why do I feel this way toward him...? He's a guy, and I'm not—gay—I can't like boys...' He turned to face the older but felt his heart shatter. Sunoo was 'admiring' Heeseung, who was busy snoring on his desk, facing the window. He had his headphones plugged in, but the faint noise of music was silenced. 'Why is he staring at him like that?' Ni-ki eyed the latter, urging himself to stay mute.

Sunoo eventually averted his head from the older to his desk. A soft yawn escaped his lips and his eyes felt heavy from staring at the board all day long, and basically zoning out. He glanced at the latter beside him, who was asleep, his mouth slightly hanging. Sunoo snickered and used his index finger to close his mouth. "He's so amazing..." Sunoo muttered and leaned closer to the sleeping beauty. He noticed the strand of hair covering his eyes, and his hand instinctively moved on its own, tucking in the hair strand. He sighed in relief and decided to drift off to his dreamland.

Heeseung felt his heart shatter for some reason. He decided to glance around the classroom after sleeping for a while, and glanced at the two boys in the front. He felt sad upon seeing the sight. Sunoo was caressing Ni-ki's head—or more like, tucking his hair. 'Wasn't he gonna do the same to me? I thought it was something special that he had done with—what the fuck am I thinking about? Why am I sad?! Why am I feeling this way?' Heeseung jolted up from his seat and tried unlocking the door, but it was locked. The time for detention wasn't over so he couldn't walk out. He peered around the classroom and decided to jump from the window.

He lifted his bag from the tiled floor and was about to jump out, but a soft yawn stopped him. It was Sunoo. He had woken up from the loud, heavy steps. "Uh..." Sunoo stood up, rubbing his eyes to comprehend the situation. "Why are you standing on the window...like that?"

Heeseung just stared at the latter, he felt his breath hitch. Sunoo's sleepy face looked adorable; his cheeks were puffy, his eyes would flutter, and his lips had a small pout formed.

Sunoo felt timid due to the piercing stare from the older who was standing by the window, ready to jump off. He cleared his throat at directed his gaze away, not wanting to anger the older. From his peripherical vision, he saw the older hesitantly backing and situating himself into his seat.

'Wierd.'