They Say Time Is A Great Healer

Chapter 2

Every day Alex comes to tell me about things like what happened to the children at school and what happened when he was at work. Well this hospital nonsense is starting to make me feel homesick although I don't actually know what my home is like.

I've had it; I don't think I can bear it here any longer. It feels like I've been here forever and I'm sure my family must feel the same. I've been thinking recently about what my house might look like, I never thought that I would wake up one day only to have forgotten everything that makes me me. Well the older me anyway, I still feel 17 although, obviously, I'm not. Alex brought me the books I asked for today, I'm going to try to relearn all the things I'm apparently teaching and try to remember some key things.

I didn't realise how difficult it was going to be to relearn all of this! I feel like I've practically eaten the damn books. Why on earth do I need to know some of these things?! Goodness me. I wonder what type of teacher I am, whether I'm the kind one or the one that everyone is scared of. It's odd to think that I actually achieved my dream of being a teacher, and at my lovely old school. Hmm, I'm sure it's changed a lot since I was there. I can't wait to get back. I feel like an invalid and I just want to to home and get back to normal. All I do is sit here and do random little activities to keep me occupied, I've started doing some word searches now but I was so embarrassed that the adult ones were too difficult for me! So Chantal... No!! Argh. Charlotte (there we go) brought me a little book of word searches that she has a copy of. She offered to help me so I'm looking forward to that, I can start spending some quality time with my daughter.

When she came to see me she said that

everyone at school keeps asking her where I am and when she says she can't tell them they make fun of her saying she's too chicken to say anything. Alex said she's not allowed to tell them. Someone came to visit the other day and I got upset at when she was talking to me like nothing has happened when I don't even know who she is.

The one thing she said that really made me laugh is that she wants me to come home soon because Alex doesn't make very good sandwiches!

I was thinking this morning about what kind of teacher I am and when I was talking to Charlotte I told her to be honest about me, she said I was a nice teacher that people like but I can be strict if people take advantage. That should be easy to reinstate when I have to go back. Ha.

Someone new came to visit me today and I didn't recognise her at all. She seemed to be pretty distraught by my lack of memory so I'm assuming we were pretty close before. She said her name was... Oh blast! Laura? No, um... Lynn! That's it. Goodness me its so frustrating, I can't deal with myself sometimes but then, it's happened now and we can't change that. Being 30 seems more normal now, I must say and I think I'm starting to adjust to real life again. Alex comes to visit me every day and I don't know what on earth I'd have to wait for if he didn't come. No one else comes that much really and I'm sad because I want to get to know people again, but them again I don't want to be judged.

I overheard Alex talking to my 'friend' this morning and she was really upset. The only thing I heard her say to him was 'life just hit an all time bloody low'...