Tied to the Throne

chapter twenty four

I had finally received a letter.

William had asked to talk to me.

Why he chose now I do not know. I am still a wreck, and would be for the next few weeks if not more. I have just lost the people I consider to be my second parents. The people that took me in like their daughter and loved me no less.

I don't think I can ever forgive them for leaving me. And Cam, and Nikolai.

God. Nik. He was a mess. Worse than poor Camille. She had just trying to distract herself with as many other things as she could. Never giving herself time to breathe, time to think. I heard her sob into her pillow every night though. Longing for her parents to come home.

They never would.

Nikolai hadn't left our room for the past week or so. When I went in there he wouldn't talk to me, no matter how much I pleaded and begged. He kept the light out, and pushed everyone away, even Daisy. He looked bad. Like he hadn't slept, or eaten for the past days.

I've been doing the same thing as Cam. Distracting myself in hopes that if I do so, the truth will never hit me, I'll live the rest of my life a lie.

I knew eventually everything would come crumbling down, and come back to bite me; all my bottled up emotions. But that wasn't now, so who's to worry?

I'm sitting in the great hall, as it is just too cold to go outside in the garden, which would have been my preferred spot of meeting.

"Princess, Prince William from Fernvale is here," a sweet man's voice informs me softly, introducing Will.

The chair across from me squeaks against the floor creating an awful noise that filles the room, echoing as it does so.

William sits down across from me, clearing his throat as to introduce his presence. I don't give his the curtesy of eye contact.

"Why are you here?" I get straight to the point.

"To talk about the night of your engagement ball," he tells me, knowing I damn well already knew. Why else?

I hum back, still not willing to make eye contact with the man. But I know I have to. I look up, staring into his eyes, silently telling him to go on.

"I'm sorry I left you all those years ago, but I had to you don't understand," he starts, already pleading with me, trying to deflect the blame.

"Let me understand then," I don't have enough energy for this, I have too much going on. I can't deal with his bullshit.

"I ran away because of dad, he made me. And in a way you did too," he tells me getting quieter at the end, as if to hope I wouldn't hear.

I can feel my face growing warm as I hear the words, the slight offense quickly turning to hurt. My brows furrow as I try to process the meaning behind the words, and my lips purse slightly in response. I can feel my cheeks flush as my emotions rise, and I can feel my heartbeat quicken as the words continue to sting. My eyes narrow slightly as I try to maintain composure, but I can feel the hurt lingering in my chest, making it hard to breathe. The expression on my face is a mix of disappointment and sadness, with a hint of anger and frustration. I try to hide my emotions, but I know that my face reveals the hurt that I feel inside.

"I loved you," I spit at him, "You left me alone with him. You left me with no one! And don't you dare say I made you run away, I would never. You were my best friend," A sudden spur of emotions arise.

Maybe this is when everything comes crashing down.

"Bels-"

"No! You do not get to call me that! Not after what you did," I can't help but cut myself off with my own tears. The small droplets falling furiously.

"Get out!" I snap.

I cannot deal with this anymore.

My own brother blaming me for everything he put me through. I was already breaking down and this certainly wasn't helping.

He wastes not a second more and basically runs out of the hall.

I soon follow in tow, storming out of the place in a fit of anger and sadness. I make my way to my room.

Going inside I notice Nikolai isn't in here.

Oh, thank god. He got out. I was worried he would never leave. I do need to talk to him, like really talk to him about what happened. I know he's hurting and I am too. It would do us good.

As I collapse into the bed, my body slumping forward, I let out a deep and heavy sigh, feeling the weight of the day's stresses bearing down on me. With my face buried in my hands, I can't help but let out a muffled scream, the sound barely escaping past my fingers. The tension in my body is palpable, every muscle seemingly wound tight as I struggle to shake off the frustration that has been building inside of me all day. It's then that the door creaks open, the sound jarring me out of my thoughts and causing me to look up in surprise.

Nikolai.

"Where have you been?" I ask.

"Oh you know," his words slur and he stumbles his way over to me.

Oh.

He's drunk.

"Nik-"

"Bella, come on, can I not have fun? Town is fun," he giggles and murmurs.

He hasn't been out of his room for a week, now he's out in town? What?

"God, I don't have the energy to deal with this. Whatever this is. I'm going to see Cam," I tell him up front.

I haven't really had time to talk to her since it happened anyway. I need to check up on the poor girl.

Nikolai can deal with whatever the hell he's gotten himself into by himself. And he can talk to me when he's sober.

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