Tied to the Throne

chapter fifty three

Nikolai P.O.V

When we returned to the castle from the village, the air felt different—charged with the weight of unspoken thoughts. The sounds of the busy streets, the children's laughter, the scent of fresh bread and blooming flowers had lingered with us as we made our way back up the long, winding path to the castle gates. I could still hear the laughter in my head, see the way the light danced off the cobblestones, but now, back in the stone walls of the castle, everything felt quieter, more restrained.

I glanced over at Bell as she walked beside me, her hand tucked into the crook of my arm. There was something in the way her gaze lingered on the children before they disappeared out of sight, something in the way her smile faltered as she watched them play. I didn't say anything at first, not wanting to interrupt the peaceful silence we shared, but I could feel the weight of it—an unspoken ache that seemed to have settled in her chest ever since we lost the baby a few months ago.

She had been quiet since we'd returned, and as much as I wanted to fill the silence, I knew that I had to wait for her to speak when she was ready.

When we entered the castle, the usual bustle of servants and staff going about their duties greeted us. But Bell seemed lost in her thoughts, her eyes unfocused as we climbed the stairs to our chambers. I waited until we were alone before I finally turned to her, catching her attention with a gentle touch on her arm.

"Bell, love?" I said softly.

She looked up at me, her expression distant, almost wistful. "Hm?"

"You've been quiet," I said, trying to keep my voice light, though I was already bracing myself for whatever she might say.

She gave me a small smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Just... thinking."

I nodded, sensing the hesitation in her voice, but I didn't push her. Instead, I reached for her hand, squeezing it gently as we entered our room.

The familiar warmth of the space enveloped me as soon as we crossed the threshold. The soft light from the candles on the nightstand gave the room a comforting, almost intimate feel.

I helped her settle on the bed, watching as she pulled her knees to her chest, her gaze once again drifting toward the window. There was a heaviness in her, a quiet longing that tugged at my heart. It wasn't something I could fix with a few words, but I knew that I wanted to try. I needed to.

"Bell..." I began, sitting beside her, "what's on your mind?"

She sighed, her fingers absently tracing the edge of the blanket. "I've been thinking about the village... about the children." She paused, as though searching for the right words. "I want that. I want a family."

My heart skipped in my chest. I knew this conversation was coming. We had danced around it for months, neither of us daring to speak the words that lingered between us.

"I know," I said softly. "I've seen the way you look at them."

She glanced at me then, her eyes shining with something fragile, something vulnerable. "I want to try again, Nikolai. I know it's too soon, but... I feel like we're ready. I want to have a child. A family."

I didn't know what to say at first. The thought of starting again, of going through the uncertainty, the pain, and the joy that would come with it... it terrified me. But looking at her, with her gentle, pleading eyes, I knew there was only one answer.

"I want that too, Bell," I said, my voice steady but thick with emotion. "But are you sure? After everything we've been through..."

She interrupted me, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sure."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. For a moment, the world felt still, as if everything had paused just for us.

"Really?" I asked, searching her face for any trace of doubt, but there was none. Just certainty. "You want to try again?"

She nodded, her smile finally reaching her eyes. "Yes."

A laugh bubbled up from my chest, a mix of relief and joy. I reached out, cupping her face in my hands, brushing my thumb along her cheek as I leaned in to kiss her. It was soft at first, tentative, like we were both trying to find our footing in this new decision. But as she kissed me back, I felt the connection, the bond between us solidify.

I pulled back slightly, resting my forehead against hers. "The kingdom needs an heir," I said, my voice low. "And you would be an amazing mother."

Her eyes sparkled with something that could only be described as mischief. "Well, the heir part is true, but you'd be a great dad," she teased, her smile growing. "Hot, even."

I couldn't help but laugh at her playful tone, the tension between us easing with the lightness of her words.

"You're biased," I said, grinning at her.

"Maybe," she said with a wink, "but I'm right."

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. The thought of having a child with her, of raising a family together, filled me with a warmth I hadn't realized I'd been missing. I had always thought I'd be content with just the two of us, but now... the idea of a child, of nurturing and guiding them with Bell by my side, felt like the next step in our journey.

And yet, in the back of my mind, the worry still lingered. What if we lost another child? What if we weren't ready? But the look in Bell's eyes—the determination, the hope—erased those fears, if only for a moment.

"We'll make it work," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "I promise."

She smiled, and for the first time in months, it was a smile that reached her eyes, that lit up her whole face. It was the smile I had missed, the one that had drawn me to her in the first place.

"I know we will."

And for the first time, I believed it.

We didn't talk about the details that night—about timing, or planning, or how we would handle a full child in our care. We didn't need to. The decision was made, and it felt right.

And even though we might not have verbally planned it, we definitely acted on it.

Stolen kisses and roaming hands didn't stop for pretty much the whole night. And god was she beautiful.

As I held her close, the warmth of her body against mine, I couldn't help but think that this, the miracle of us, was the greatest gift of all.

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