•Only mine•

𝙏𝙒𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙔-𝙊𝙉𝙀 / 'enough'

[Thursday]

God. This guy fucking knows what to do with his fingers and tounge. It's incredible. It's just not enough. I might seem needy but he hasn't fucked me in almost a week, and I need his dick.

He made me a monster. But what can I do if he's so damn good. It's like he practices every night. Everytime we do it, it just gets better. I became addicted.

But I also have to watch it because I can't fall in love with him. I don't want my heart to get broken. One time was enough.

What happened back in high school with my first love, was horrible, and really put me on the floor, so I'd like it to not happen again.

I don't want to feel that way again, because it was awful. I sigh as I pack my luggage. Away for a whole week. I need this break.

"Hey what's up? What's on your mind?" Becca asks, hugging me from behind. I lay my head on her shoulder and relax. "Just Will." I say. "Uuuu." She wiggles her brows, sitting on my bed, and crossing her legs. "What's up with you guys?" She asks, as she sips from her coffee. "Have you fucked since the shower?"

"Yeah. Two times, and he also gave me head me two times." It flies out of my mouth like it's the most natural thing ever. "Oh shit. I thought you guys ended this." She raises her brows.

Good thing with me and Becca, that nothing is weird between us. We can talk about anything. Whenever I ask her about Nathan, she also speaks like I speak about Will. She's the only person I can talk to about how sex is with Will.

"Nah. We're kind of enemies with benefits now." I roll my eyes. "Is that enough for you?" She sips from her coffee again. "Me? Of course." I shrug. "I mean I'm not in love with him. I can't be. It would end up with my heart broken. It's rediciolus I can't fall in love." She snorts shaking her head.

"Well if you approach it like that, then yes. I think you should give it a chance. Will isn't the type of guy to break someone's heart." She shrugs. "He's not in love with me anyways." I put my pants in my suitcase. "Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that." She raises her brows. "What do you mean?" I stop in my tracks to look at her.

"You know he's a player. Fucking multiple girls after each other." I frown. "Yeah but have you noticed that since you guys first did it, he hasn't been with another girl? And I know that for a fact cause he and Nathan are roommates and I'm there almost all the time." She wiggles her brows.

"You have a point there." I say, now lost in my thoughts, and sitting down. Fuck. "I'm not in love with him am I?" I frown looking over at her. "Well? What do you feel? Spill." She nods her head for me once, gesturing me to talk.

"I uhm. I don't know. He does this thing every time we meet. He stands in front of me, and puts his hands on the back of my head, his thumb caresses my jaw line and he's looking at me like I'm the only thing existing in this world. Like I'm a precious porcelain object that he wants to buy. The way he looks at me, the way he cares about me, makes me feel like I'm close to throwing up because of this weird feeling in my stomach. His chuckle became my favourite sound. It's all I want to hear. Everytime we're having sex, he always stops to look at my naked body and say 'your body is a masterpiece' or 'you are so beautiful' or 'you look breathtaking'. After we have sex, there's this spot on my collarbone, where he draws little circles on, and kisses it." I explain, Becca listens and a warm smile forms on her face.

"Yep. You're in love. And he's in love with you." She smiles, and I whine. I can't be though. No. I can't. He's not in love with me. Or is he? He's the biggest player I've known in a while. Fucking multiple girls, after each other. So why would he stop fucking other girls as soon as he and I fuck? Or maybe he still sleeps other girls we just don't notice. But then why would he want me to stay after we do it?

Shit. Why is he looking at me the way he does then? Why does he say those things to me? Why does he hold me in his arms like he's afraid I'm going to break?

"You're overthinking now, aren't you?" She tilts her head glaring at me. "He wants me to stay after we do it." I mutter. "He what?" She asks. "Everytime we have sex, he wants me to stay afterwards." I say. "Well that's new. It usually goes like, he fucks a girl then he sends her home right away." She says. There's a small silence. "I also never seen him look at anyone with admiration, except you. I think he really does like you Nina." She says.

I groan. "When did this get so complicated?" I shake my head. "I shouldn't have slept with him at all." I cover my face. "Oh don't be like this Nina. I know Mark broke your heart pretty hard. And also know that Will is a player. But after all this, how he looks at you, how he talks about you, I think it would be worth it if you'd give it a shot. Just ask him." She says.

"Oh yeah? What should I ask: Hi Will. Are you in love with me? I just want to know because I can't decide if I want to get togeher with you or not." I look at her. She rolls her eyes laughing. "Basically. Ask him this: Hey can I ask you something? Am I more than just a fuck buddy to you? I just want to know because you're giving me mixed signals. I just want to make sure." She says.

"And by the way Mark didn't just broke my heart. He.....He took a picture of me Becca. He took a picture of me while he took my virginity. The most vulnerable positions. I didn't even know it until someone showed it to me saying 'are you the v-card girl?'." I roll my eyes, then sigh. "Never mind I want to talk about something else. Let's just change the subject." I say.

↣↣↣↢↢↢

"Hey guys." I smile as I arrive at the spot we're meating at. "Oh thank fuck you're okay! You scared the shit out of us!" Lucy says jumping on me. "Wha-" I start but I realize and I look over at Harley glaring at him. "You told them." I whine. "I'm sorry okay? They're our best friends." He says. I shrug it off not making a big deal out of it.

"Okay so. I have bad news. The mini van is full, so one of you has to go with Will." Nathan says. They all immediately look at me and show x's which means they are out. Of course. Why wouldn't this happen? Do you hate me God?!

I roll my eyes. "Okay. Then I guess I'm going with you." I look over at Will who was already staring at me. He smirks and wiggles his brows. "Dumbass." I mutter under my breath.

↣↣↣↢↢↢

I look over at him as he's driving. God he's so cute, and his hands. Those veiny strong hands as they grip the steering wheel. "So uhm. Can I ask you something?" I speak after thirty minutes of silence. "Sure." He says, making a turn. "God this will sound stupid." I say. "Go on. Everything you say sounds stupid." He shrugs.

I gasp dramatically, my hand goes to my heart, and I throw my head back. Then I slap his thigh, and he chuckles. Oh fuck that chuckle. "Okay go on." He smiles. I take a deep breath. "A-Am I more than just a fuck buddy to you?" I ask, and look out the window. "Yeah. You're my friend." He says. "That's not what I meant. Do you like me more than just a friend?" I ask.

"No. Why?" I'm going to kill Becca. This is so embarrassing. My heart breaks into pieces and I regret my question immediately. Why does it hurt so much?

Shit. I caught feelings. That's why.

"Nothing. I was just curious. I don't want things to get complicated." I shrug. "Okay then." He says. Shit.

<Only mine>

I caught feelings once, didn't end well. They guy got together with my now ex-best friend

Love yourself
Don't forget to drink, eat
You're beautiful and you're enough