Chaennie one shots

Heartache

English.

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They say that time takes away the pain, but it's been years and I'm still the same.

Tired, lost, hurt.

They say that I will find another you, and at first, I thought so too, but it turns out that's not true at all.

For how can I find a woman whose smile can literally make my day better? Whose laugh can make me feel like everything's going to be alright. How can I even replace a woman who's so understanding, and so patient?

Why have I taken someone as gentle and as kind as you for granted?

You who used to say the words; "If I'm sincere today, what does it matter if I regret it tomorrow?" whenever I'd tell you about the inconsistencies of life— and the possibility of our relationship not being spared of those inconsistencies too.

I wish you could tell me now, darling, did you regret being with me after all that we've been through?

After all that I've put you through.

"Darling, I can't. I need to finish work." Was one of my favorite lines whenever you would ask me out.

"But it's Sunday, you've been doing work all weekend. Can't you spare me just 2 hours, just to eat dinner?" Was what you would say in return, coupled with you pouting your lips.

And instead of understanding that all you ever wanted was to spend time with me, I get irritated at how selfish I thought you seemed instead.

"Jennie, you know I need to work, right? It's not just for me, it's for us, our future. I need to save if I want to marry you." I said in utter frustration.

"I can't believe how selfish you are." I mumbled after.

"Selfish? You think I'm selfish for begging a tad bit of your time?" You say, voice raising.

I knew I hit a nerve, and braced myself for what was to come. It has always been a lot of fighting between us lately, and I'm afraid I don't have any more strength left in me to still argue.

"You're my girlfriend, Rosie, so I'm sorry if all I ever wanted was your time." You say in anger, tears welling up in your eyes.

"And that's all that I wanted." You spoke gently, barely above a whisper— sounding hurt and dejected.

"You."

"Only you and your time." Your stared at me through the screen and despite the distance between us, I feel your orbs piercing right through me. As if reaching out— begging almost.

"It's not like I ask much, Rosie. It's just that... I've never seen you in two months, and it's not like we don't live in the same city."

"I'm tired." I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at my reflection on the screen instead of your face.

"Right. You're tired, that's what you always say."

"Guess I make you feel tired all the time."

Before I knew it, the line went off and I'm left sitting on my study desk, sighing loudly and rubbing my face.

Why didn't I realize I was losing you?

If only I did, then I wouldn't be wishing I could turn back the time, back to when you were mine, so I could do it again.

And make it right this time around.

Now there's no you and instead I'm left with this heartache.

All the pain in my chest, and all my regrets. All the things I never said, and all the things I could have done.

I couldn't help but ask myself why on that night, I let you go.

Now I miss you.

They say I didn't know what I had in my life until it's gone, but the truth is that I knew you were the one. I knew you were everything and anything combined.

But what I didn't know is that it will end.

I used to talk about life's inconsistencies. I used to wonder about the possibility of our relationship changing, but I never in my wildest dream thought that it would come to the point where I would have to watch you walk away.

"What's the rush? Why did you want me to meet you here out of all places? You know it gets too crowded here at this time." I ask. You stood in front of me, not minding the sea of people around us. You were silent, only staring at me for a solid minute.

"Do you remember? It was around this time, two years ago, at this exact place where I said yes to you asking me to be your girlfriend." You spoke, nostalgia brimming your eyes.

"It was a roller coaster ride being with you, Rosie."

"But it was everything I could ever hope for."

I stare at you with brows furrowed. I can't forget the look in your eyes.

"Was?" I ask, watching your bright brown eyes be filled with unshed tears.

"Let's end it here, Rosie."

"I don't want to keep on begging you to love me if you don't."

"Jennie, that's not—"

"I don't want to keep asking for your time if you don't want to give it willingly."

"Jennie—"

"Rosie, I'm tired." You whisper, crying.

"This time, I'm tired."

Why didn't I make you stay?

Why didn't I run after you instead of just dumbfoundedly watching you turn your back on me.

If I only did that, then that night wouldn't have been so hard to forget. Now it gets worse as the pain goes by.

What do I do in this life?

Aside from regretting, and trying to hide the pain with nothing. Now that there's no more you, I doubt I'll ever be alive again.

I guess pain and regret are the price I have to pay, along with missing you every day.

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AN:

A little and short update, hoping I can get back to writing more again.