Until her ( book 2)

Chapter 12 " Want."

NINAS POV

Yes I may be an idiot for trying to change Thomas, but working for him for 4 years, I saw something. I saw something that I saw in flash.

Thomas is hurt. He's troubled. Just like flash was. And I know there's something in there.

I may be wrong but I just, I can't kill another person.

The guilt.. it starts slow.. the waves start to crash, they start hit you then it slowly drowns you. Repeatedly . It consumes you. And I'm already to the point where I can't pull the drain of the water.

So I can't handle another death. And I can't handle another loss.

So even if this a mistake. Even if this is stupid and I'm naive. At least I can say I still had a heart. After all of this.

FLASHES POV

I usually can say I know Nina, better than myself at times. But now. I don't. I cant say I'm mad.. I know her and him have this weird bond thing.

But I- I'm not mad. And I should be. I should be furious at the fact that the guy that just threatened my son, my and my wife's life. Is in the car alive.

But I'm not. I'm still that little boy in the hospital waiting for my dad to pick me up, waiting for him to tell me my mom is okay. But instead.

This nurse called a foster home. And I was taken there. Lived there until I met Bailey. And baileys family. They took me in. Then a year later I got into gambling.

I talked to the wrong people. And created my own group. My own " gang." Even Bailey was there. But then I met Nina.

She showed me that I was more than a gambling more than a druggie who took peoples money. She even got me to stop smoking.

I had this problem. When she first met me I was incredibly skinny. Still had muscle from beating the shit out of people, but I was skinny because I was doing pills.

And then she convinced me to stop, said it would kill me. I didn't care. But when she looked at me like she cared.. I stopped. But then we went on a break because we couldn't stop fighting.

Then we got back together. Finally I was doing good. Even decided to get her a ring after we moved in together.

Then she died. Not literally now we know but I didn't at the time so I wasted myself almost every night. Bailey of course stopped by when he could so when he was on his ways..

I threw away every beer bottle. Pretended I was doing good. But as soon as he left. I drowned in alcohol.

And I decided to drink. That I was getting bigger. Not fat. But not skinny. I worked it off in the gym but because I drank myself in weight. It was hard.

Then fucking Alice. She saw me in the gym. I thought she was my second chance. But she wasn't Nina. And a little part of me hated it.

FLASH BACK

My body ached. I was working out 5 hours everyday. I had too. I was starting to lose myself. I couldn't make it through the day without at least ten beers.

I looked down at my hands as sweat poured off of me.

" excuse me?" Somebody said as they tapped my shoulder I looked up and sighed.

" my headphones are off I can hear ya." I said and the girl laughed. I looked up and stood up.

I couldn't help myself but try to see Nina in the women in front of me. I didn't even know it at the time, but I looked for Nina in everyone.