random [ sometimes angry] ranting time

hmm

what if I just disappeared? what if I just wasn't around anymore? would they cry? would anyone actually be sad? would they just have to find other reasons to laugh? they're still able to have fun and smile when im not around, what would stop them if I weren't around? what would stop them from being happy?

I think they'd be okay.  like, yeah, sure, maybe they'd miss me a bit, but not that much. when you lose someone, you might be sad for a while but you eventually just have to deal with it and realize it is what it is. nothing you can do to change it, so you just have to keep going. you just have to move on.

I think it would be hardest for Julia. since we're roommates and I'm around her a lot of the time. but she'd have ethan and Madison and maegan and blade and jade and Caleb and other people. they'd be there for her. her and maegan could room together next year and no one would have to worry about being the odd person out. and she wouldn't have to worry about being late to stuff anymore since I'd be out of the picture.

I dunno. maybe it's just my brain being dumb, but I think they'd be okay. I don't have that much of an impact. I haven't changed much, which im okay with. it's alright.