OUR BROKEN BEGINNINGS

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

He took a step back, and his eyes guttered out.

"What?" His voice was unbearably quiet.

Tears had never filled my eyes so quickly. No matter how much I fought it, I took a step toward him. "Em."

I was met with a step back from him. He spoke again with equal quiet, "What did you say?"

I rose my hands, and I refused to allow any tears to fall from my eyes no matter how much it stung. "I didn't expect this. I never expected this. Us."

His face turned to stone, and my heart hurt. His vulnerability was gone, just like that. As if it was never there to begin with. He spoke through his teeth. "What. Did. You. Say."

I closed my eyes as unrelenting waves of guilt and shame flooded me. "I was using you. I married you because I wanted your money, not you."

He shook his head, trying to understand. His eyes were no longer on me. They were anything but on me, and I missed them already. "My money. You were using me for my money."

I took a small step forward, but he didn't notice. His entire demeanor had changed, and I felt all his defenses locking back in place. I knew this would happen. Fuck. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. "In the beginning yes, but it was only in the beginning. I swear it, Emerson. You weren't to me then what you are to me now. I didn't know."

He, again, couldn't hear me, or he was choosing not to listen. His words each time he spoke came out sharper. "How were you planning on stealing from me, Cassandra? Hm?"

"I—"

He laughed darkly, but I knew it was not one of happiness nor humor. "Why am I asking? Like Danielle Crest, right?"

I fought the flinch at the name. I wasn't her. But, wasn't I?

"Yes."

He laughed again, an exasperated one. "Was everything a lie?"

I took a step forward, large enough for him to see, and to my surprise, he did not take one back. "No, Em. You have to believe me. When I agreed to this arrangement, I did not know who you were. I knew nothing about you just as you knew nothing about me. It wasn't supposed to be this complicated. It was supposed to be simple. A piece of paper."

He looked up toward the ceiling and said to himself, "How did I put myself in this position twice?"

When he looked back down, tears lined his eyes. I couldn't keep my own from falling then. The sight of the betrayal in his eyes left me in utter ruin. This was my doing. I had no one to blame but myself for letting my own lie continue for so long. I should have told him the moment I realized that I was in—.

I stopped the thought before it could fill my mind in its entirety. I spoke to him with a broken voice. "I have never stolen from you, and I will never steal from you."

A single tear escaped his eye and slid down his cheek as he spoke quietly once again, "You already have."

I didn't understand the meaning of his words, but I had no time to figure it out because he walked past me and down the hallway. It was an easy choice to follow after him. I knew it wasn't right. It was wrong in every way, but it was the only way I knew to make him stay. One final round of our game.

I set the bait. I hoped he'd bite. "You had no other motive in marrying me? You were innocent too?"

He stopped at the end of the hallway, and I begged the universe that he would turn around. That he wouldn't be able to help fighting back. Please. Please. Please.