Scared To Fall In Love

Was He Ever Capable of Love?

He is waiting for your answer. You smile and say, "Let me sleep on it and get back to you. You know the only thing holding me back is. . ."

 He interrupts, "But there are six of us who love you and want you back. You've been getting the flowers and cards we've been sending right?"

You blush and say "Yes, I have. You, Jimin, Yoongi and Jooni are very consistent." you laugh.

 Inside you think, 'But you most of all Tae, with your sweet silly texts and the nights spent face timing.'  

You wistfully then sadly look at him thinking, 'Do you have any idea Tae how much you healed my heart? Of course you don't because I never told you.'  

You sigh and he takes it as meaning you are sad it wasn't Jungkook sending flowers and cards.

 "I can't explain what goes on in his head, but I know he loved you."

Suddenly you look at him "Loved? Was he ever capable of love?"

Tae squirms in his seat feeling he has been caught in an embarrassing situation. "Um, well."

Then you say "He couldn't find the time for me, to explain or even apologize!" 

All the painful feelings come rushing to the forefront, you feel the need to get away.

You stand to leave and Tae says, "I'm sorry about that, but as far as I know, he has only fallen in love once." 

He stands and holds your hand, "And that was with you."

You pull your hand free and with tears in your eyes you start to walk away. He steps to you and takes your hand, "Please, don't go. Don't leave me like this."

Suddenly angry you say "Why not!? My dad left me, my brother left me and Jungkook left me, maybe it's my turn to leave someone!"

You know that is not fair to Tae, your dad left because he died, your older brother left because he got married. It seemed every man that you loved most in your life left you.

Calmly he says "Do I really deserve that?" 

You stop in your tracks turning back to him. You're looking around the small restaurant but not seeing anything lost in your thoughts.

Then you guiltily at Tae, "No, Tae, you don't. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better."

 He tenderly gazes into your eyes, "Maybe I want to deserve you." and he smiles softly at you.

You give a sad small smile back and then say "Tae you deserve so much more in life, you are the type of man a woman could easily adore."  'He could have his choice of women.'

"Well, they do." He laughs, "Yes thousands do." he takes your hand as his look turns serious, "But only one woman can have my heart."

 In his velvety soft voice he says "Let your heart love again." his thumb caresses the top of your hand.

You look sadly at him, "Tae, I . . ."  Your emotions and thoughts begin to overwhelm you. You know you can't make a decision right this moment. "Tae I need some time, please let me think about."

He sadly nods, "I understand. We only have a few more days before we head back to Seoul. Will you let me know when we meet again?" 

You can't ignore the longing in his eyes. You take his hand and lightly place a kiss on the top. "Come over for dinner tomorrow at my place. Will you be able to slip away for dinner?"

He grins, "I made it here, so I can make it to your place." He kisses the hand that held his. "I will see you tomorrow evening." 

He smiles is boxy smile and tiptoe up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight Tae, I will see you tomorrow."

You quickly leave the restaurant before your emotions took you completely over in front of everyone.

Once you reach home, you close the door behind you and sit against it. Finally your emotions win out and you can't stop the tears that became sobs. Lost in the pain of heartbreak warring with the feelings of love you have to Tae. You are startled out of your sobs by knocking on your door.

"Hun, I know you're in there. I can hear you crying. Open the door sweetheart."

You stand and open the door and immediately he takes you in his embrace. He pushes the door closes behind him keeping you in his arms as you cry.

"Talk to me." He says with tenderness in his voice.

You look up at Dae and sniffle as he wipes a tear from your face. "I'm in love."

He pulls you over to the couch to sit then grins at you, "Being in love is not a reason to cry, sweetheart." 

He looks closely at you causing you to look into his eyes, "Unless they're tears of happiness?"

You sit for a couple of hours talking about Jungkook, Tae and love.

"Sweetheart, you will always have some of these feelings for Jungkook, but you and I both know he is no longer the one you are in love with."

You sigh and he continues, "I know the others have kept in touch, especially Taetae." 

He lifts you chin so you can see into his eyes, "Because he is in love with you, have no doubt."

He stays a little longer and convinces you to go to Korea with Tae. "You let him know tomorrow night. Ok?" 

You nod and he smiles patting your hand before he leaves.

Later that night after he left, your heart and mind were in agreement to go with Tae. Though how you will deal with the emotion that would arise with Jungkook still had you doubting your decision. You knew you weren't in love any longer with Jungkook, but there was still a wound left on your heart.