We'll Brave This Storm, Together

Why Do You Hate Me? What Did I Do Wrong?

Andy:

I was laying in my hospital bed, head laid back, and wheezing, god was I tired. I have been in this room for almost two days and I couldn't even get out of bed. There were at least 5 different IVs in my arm and I had to drink a lot of water. I was currently singing Knives and Pens, acoustic version, to myself. My mom was in the cafeteria, she has been here all day yesterday and today. She said she was going to start coming less though, she had work and I would be with the gies. Speaking of the gies my mom called Jinxx and he told the others so they were coming. Its only 12 so they should be here anytime now. I really wanted to see Ash, yes I had developed feelings for him since we first met. I wanted to tell him about them but always chicked out, I think this is a good time, just in case. I keep thinking about death because I knew that every year thousands of people died from this, some people were cured, I hope I am one of them. I mean, as much as I want to see my dad, I fear death. I don't want to die because I fear that it'll hurt and I won't see the ones I love anymore. I was brought out of my thoughts when the door opened. My mom walked in and grabbed her purse, I quickly made a fake smile. "Honey I gotta go to work but I'll try to be back as soon as I can." "Mom its fine, take your time and go home, get some rest." She smiled and kissed my forehead before leaving the room. "I love you Andy." "Love you mom." She shut the door and I dropped my smile, god I hated smiling. Theres no point in it when theres no reason to be happy. I closed my eyes and laid my head back again, taking a deep breath. I didn't want to die yet. I felt a single tear but wiped it away. I DO NOT cry, the only people who have ever seen me cry are my parents, not even the band. I slowly sunk deeper into my bed and fell asleep.

___________30 Minutes Later___

I woke up to something drop. I looked up to see a nurse. "I'm sorry." "Its fine", wow my voice was very raspy. "Okay, I was just giving you your medicine." I nodded. "Also I have to get some more pain meds so your chest might start hurting a again until I get back." I sighed but sill nodded. "Okay well let me go get that now." She left and I grabbed the remote, sitting myself up. I pulled out my phone and put in my headphones listening to some random songs.

After a while the door opened again and I saw Jinxx walk in, he took one look at me before running over and engulfing me in a giant bear hug. "God man, I missed you." "Ha, same here." He sat in a chair next to me that my mom used to occupy and put his hands in his lap as I put my phone away. "So how are you feeling?" "Uh, a little chest pain here and there." "Your voice is also fucked up." "Yeah, a little raspy." "If you were wondering, the gies are coming up in a sec, I dropped them at your house so they could drop off their bags." I nodded and looked down. "Andy?" "Jinxx I don't wanna die.." My voice started to crack and I held back a sob. He put his hand on my back and I felt my body tremble. "Andy, you can cry. Don't feel like you can't." I shook my head. "Andy you're not going to die, maybe get really sick at times, but not die." I covered my face with my hands and tried so hard not to cry. I sucked in a deep breath and Jinxx just rubbed circle on my back. "Andy, let it out. Go on." I finally did and a huge sob escaped my lips as I trembled in Jinxx's embrace he just created. "I c-can't do this! I c-can't die y-et! I'm still a teen for cr-crying out loud!" "I know Andy, I know." "There are people who h-ave smoked for fifty or s-sixty years and still live h-ealthy! Its not fair!" "Everythings going to work out, its going to be okay." "I wanted to live my life... with Ash." "I knew you loved him." "I d-do.." Jinxx smiled at me and broke the embrace. I took a while to calm down but when I did Jinxx handed me my water. "Just call me or talk to me whenever you want, if you need privacy or somethings wrong you tell me and I'll get everyone away for a while." I loved how Jinxx was so protective and helpful in these moments. "Thanks Jinxx." "No problem, we also stopped BVB until you get better, there is no BVB without you." I smiled and nodded. The door started to open and I saw the band walk in. They all looked at me and smiled. "Andy!" They sat around and told me how much they miss me in L.A., but Ashley wasn't here. "Wheres Ash?" I asked. "Uh, Andy Ash stayed at your house." My chest tightened. "What?" "He said he was tired or something." I looked away and Jinxx looked mad. "Gies Andy needs more water can you head down and buy some? We can talk in a second, Andy needs to stay hydrated." They all left but Jake. "Jake--" "Jinxx I am staying here." My hands started to tremble again along with the rest of my body. "H-he doesn't care about me Jinxx.." "Andy yes he does." I shook my head. "Hes probably sleeping with some girl on my b-bed." "Andy no hes not, he would never do that." I wiped some tears that escaped and Jake handed me a tissue, putting a hand on my back. "Hey?!" I jumped up and Jinxx motioned an apology. "Where the hell are you?" He said quieter as he stepped out.