~*~ Louis ~*~
Louis listens as Harry fills in the gaps around Niall’s earlier retelling of what had happened. He sweeps his thumb slowly over the skin of Harry’s stomach just above his waistband, offering comfort as Harry struggles to relive the events from earlier. With the weight of Harry’s words between them, Louis kisses Harry’s temple. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here, love. I’m so, so sorry.”
Harry turns his head and meets Louis’ mouth in a soft kiss. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Lou.”
“I should have been here.” Guilt eats at Louis. Although he knows it’s unlikely that he could’ve stopped it since he was at work when it happened, even if he hadn’t walked away from Harry, the knowledge doesn’t keep him from beating himself up over it. He noses at the side of Harry’s face, letting himself drown in the peace of holding him again.
Niall raises a hand to get their attention. “Should I be calling you Lou or Tommo?”
His question breaks the tension in the room, and Louis laughs. “Whichever you prefer. I will answer to both. My name is Louis, and people close to me usually end up calling me Louis or Lou. Tommo is the name I use at the bar.” Shit. The bar. He hasn’t let Zayn and Liam know what’s going on. He’s been too preoccupied with focusing on Harry’s needs. “Speaking of the bar, I left in a bit of a hurry. I need to call Zayn and Liam.” Louis feels Harry stiffen when he mentions Zayn, and he cocks his head to look at Harry. “Haz?”
“It’s fine,” Harry mumbles.
Louis wraps his arms more firmly around Harry in a hug, tucking his face next to Harry’s shoulder. “You have nothing to be jealous of. I told you this already. Zayn is my best mate.”
“You live with him,” Harry declares as if that means something.
Louis lifts his head but keeps his arms around Harry. “I do.”
Harry remains tense in Louis’ arms when he asks, “Have you slept with him?”
“Yes,” Louis replies honestly, unwilling to lie to Harry.
“Slept or fucked?” Harry clarifies softly.
“Both.”
Harry immediately struggles to get out of Louis’ embrace. “Let me go.”
Louis drops his arms instantly at the request, but his voice rings clear in the room. “Zayn and I aren’t together, but that doesn’t negate the fact that we have had sex. Yes, I have fucked him. I have fucked him a lot. More times than I can count.”
Harry moves away from Louis to the other side of the bed, eyes cast down. “How can you say you aren’t with him, if you’ve had sex with him? Was it an arrangement or something? Are you exes or what? You’re going to have to explain it to me, because I don’t understand.”
Louis sighs. He’d much rather have this conversation later, but rather than making it a bigger issue than it is, he says, “When we met, both of us were in bad places. So, yeah, we fucked all the time back then. More than once a day. Sometimes, two, three, four, or more times a day. There were days we didn’t get out of bed. We’d fuck, recover, then fuck again. Then one day, we both realized we were better as friends. He opened up to me about himself and never once pushed me to open up to him, but he loved me through it all. I recently shared everything about my past, everything about me, with him. Laid bare all my demons. He’s the first person to know me completely, other than my family, and he didn’t leave. He stayed. No one has ever stayed before. He is, and always will be, important to me. Deal with it, or don’t; but I won’t pretend it didn’t happen. Yes, I have fucked him. Yes, I have recently slept with him in the context of sleeping and comfort.” Louis takes a breath, hesitating, before deciding to put everything on the line. “And before you ask, yes, I have fucked him in the context of friends when one of us needs to get off.”
