TRIGGER WARNING: May contain themes or content that could be triggering or sensitive. Reader discretion is advised. If you find certain topics distressing, please exercise caution before continuing.
you don't exist
when he's in a good company
you hate your mind
of how it always agree,
then feel awful afterwards
you hate how you crave
to things you'll never have
I'm not even surprise
that no one calls you
those who mean the world to you
doesn't even bother to see you
they don't even feel the remorse
of how they treated you
you blame yourself and it's all your fault
when they could give effort
or time, even if it's so short
even if it's sudden
you blame yourself for reasons
when you're just done with everything
he isn't even interested
of all the stories you have to tell
they don't even message you
to ask you how you were
you cut them off but not totally
hoping they would understand
and will not left you out
you're always crying
for just having yourself
you hate loneliness
but wanted to be alone
you're hard on yourself
you don't even eat
and when you do, you feel bad
and wanna puke it all up
you do wanna live
but you're getting tired
for understanding things
you can't even accept
you're slowly killing yourself
as if you don't hate it
you wanna be healthy
so you always feel sorry
do you know what you're doing?
or you just keep make-believing?
is it all what you're hoping?
they don't even answer when you're calling
do you really wanna stop living?
you keep bluffing and
lying like you're dying
he doesn't like you like that
don't even try to disagree
he has a girl because of you
not taking a chance when you get to
just keep hating yourself
that's what you're good at
and you know what they say
hone the things that you
are good at doing
it's all funny!
how the voices in your head
keep on banging the doors
always wanting to be heard
when you're so silent
and so apart from the world.
trying to live is hard
but loving yourself is harder
funny how you keep things on your own
you're so good at lying
they don't even bother to ask how are you
and when they do,
you convince them
and improve your lies
you told yourself
you'd get rid of that feelings
it's been years
you don't even know how to do it
-xysaoirse-
